A Matter of Marine-Chapter Four: Conrad Loses His Shit

Conrad derails Marine's plan of taking Mrs. Wright to Manly to go shopping by offering to drive them both there. Marine argues that they don't know when they'll be done shopping, and Conrad says he'll wait in the car for them if he has to. Mrs. Wright suggests that they go shopping in Sydney, which is where Conrad is going. Helena the Hunter clearly doesn't want Marine to agree to this, but Marine agrees. So, Helena the Hunter runs off to get ready since she's just now decided that she's going. She doesn't want to leave Marine alone with Conrad...and his grandmother. Le sigh.

Anyway, Marine and Mrs. Wright get settled in the back of the car and eventually Helena the Hunter and Conrad walk into the garage. Conrad, ever the gentleman, opens Helena the Hunter's door for her, and then sits in the driver's seat. So, no one talks for a bit, until Helena the Hunter starts word vomiting all over the car. I don't know what she's talking about, because Marine doesn't pay attention to it, but it scarcely matters. It's not even a conversation; it's just Helena the Hunter babbling out a monologue.

While they're driving, Marine worries over what she overheard in the kitchen, and comes to some of the same conclusions I did. Then she sees Conrad watching her in the rear view mirror. He raises his eyebrows to question why she was frowning. Marine blushes and firmly looks out the window for the rest of the drive. Finally, they get to Conrad's office and he parks his car. Marine wonders what Helena the Hunter will do while Conrad's working and she and Mrs. Wright are shopping. Really? As soon as Helena the Hunter invited herself along, I figured she'd be shopping with them. Hooray.

So, they decide that one o'clock will be plenty of time for them all to meet back at the car and Marine and Mrs. Wright start walking away. Conrad asks Marine why she doesn't invite Helena the Hunter along. Helena the Hunter simpers and says that, really, if they don't want her, it's fine. She'll just go shopping on her own. Sniffle sniffle. So, of course, Marine has to invite Helena the Hunter along with them. Now Conrad is pacified. He smiles at Helena the Hunter and reminds her not to spend too much money. She'd told him she was saving up. Helena the Hunter pouts, says she'll remember, and then complains that it's hard to watch her spending when others have money to burn, and she looks at Marine and Mrs. Wright. All right, jerkface, Marine does not have money to burn, and Mrs. Wright is probably more financially responsible than you. Also, does it really matter if you're hanging with people who buy things if you're just window shopping? Neither Marine nor Mrs. Wright would be mean about that, but Helena the Hunter isn't genuinely upset, anyway, so whatever. Her manipulation works, and Conrad gives her fat stacks to spend. Oh, her response is awful, “'Oh Conrad!' she squealed delightedly, 'I didn't mean for you to give me money. I have ten dollars and...'” He cuts her off to say it's an early Christmas present. Ten dollars? She's got more than that. Also, I ain't sayin' she a gold digger....

Also, we get the benefit of Marine's practiced eye telling us that Helena the Hunter's shoes and purse would cost a small fortune each, and her clothes are also really pricey. Clearly, she's not hurting for cash. Anyway, Conrad offers his grandmother some money, which she politely declines. Marine is thinking that Conrad is being dumb with his relationship with Helena the Hunter. Then he turns to Marine. She gives off the attitude that no way will she take spending money from him. He quietly asks her to make sure his grandmother pays for everything. Then they do one of those things where Marine reacts to Conrad reacting to what she was thinking, leaving her embarrassed. But, while Marine is defiantly staring into Conrad's eyes, everyone and everything else drops away and she almost drowns in his eyes until Helena the Hunter snaps out something. She physically separates Marine and Conrad, while angrily reminding Marine that she wanted to go shopping and Conrad has work to do. Oh. Right.

Conrad wanders away and the knives come out. Only metaphorically, unfortunately. Helena the Hunter is mad that Marine is flirting with Conrad. Marine replies by saying that Helena the Hunter has dollar signs over her eyes. Then Marine repents her actions, gets Mrs. Wright a bit more settled, and politely asks Helena the Hunter what kind of shopping she would like to do. Helena the Hunter snaps out that she's not going shopping with them, especially not Mrs. Wright, the slow old biddy. Thank goodness Mrs. Wright's attention is distracted by a fallen hair clip. She's the one character with redeeming qualities in this novel. Well, Marine is okay when her interactions don't involve Conrad.

Anyway, Helena the Hunter stalks off, and at her pace there's no way they can catch her. Marine decides that it's more important that she look after Mrs. Wright anyway and they go on their merry way. The important thing is that Mrs. Wright finally gets to go to a hair salon. She hasn't been in months and she used to go weekly. After her appointment, her hair is all kinds of pretty. Marine compliments her, and, glowing, Mrs. Wright tells Marine that she can call her Eva. I was wondering if I'd have to refer to her as Mrs. Wright for the whole book. Marine says it would be nice for Eva to be able to have her hair done once a week like she used to. There's a hair salon closer to her place, and Marine has a car so they can make this happen.

Then they swing by Marine's aunt's shop, where Eva gets more compliments. Marine impulsively kisses Eva's cheek, and she starts tearing up with happiness. Good. She should be feeling happy. She's a sweet lady with, I hope, a hitherto untold mastery of some sort of martial art. Anyway, Eva and Marine stay for tea and cakes. Marine's aunt asks her niece how things are really going. Marine decides not to let on about the bit of conversation she heard and instead replies that they're better than they were. Which is mostly true. Oh, some backstory that Marine learned: Conrad's dad was Eva's only child. His wife died after giving birth to Conrad, which turned Dad to drinking and gambling and the company suffered. That's probably why Conrad is working so hard to make it better.

Then Marine's aunt asks if they can come to Christmas dinner. Eva is delighted by the invitation, but a little unsure about adding two more for a meal. Marine tells her aunt that if they can, they'd be delighted to make it. After this, Eva is chatting with Marine's cousins and Marine buys her Christmas presents for people. She tells her aunt that she hadn't told Eva about that possibility, but it's good for Eva to hear the invitation because, even if they can't make it, she'll know she was invited. What a great day. Well, let's head back to the car for a nice drive back up the coast and... Oh, hello Helena the Hunter. Why are you crying? Sigh. Damn it. Conrad thinks it's Marine's fault.

After the awkward car ride home, Helena the Hunter runs inside and Mrs. Wright, wanting to avoid her grandson's mood, doesn't tarry either. Conrad tells Marine that he wants to see her in his study. Marine replies that she thought he might and that she'll be there in half an hour. He grabs her wrist, painfully so, and demands that she go there right that instant. Marine replies with “A half hour!” Conrad's not used to being told no. Eventually, he lets go of his death grip on her wrist, and she explains that she wants to get Eva settled down for a nap, and then she'll meet with him. Stop trying to prevent her from doing her job, Conrad. He's super mad and sticks his hands in his pockets. As he fumes, Marine reflects that she's very glad his hands are in his pockets. Don't worry, I'll do a tally of his abusive behavior at the end of the chapter. Anyway, then they get stuck staring at each other again. Conrad is still pissed, but I guess he doesn't look away while Marine is getting all moony over him. Finally, Conrad agrees that he'll see her in his study in half an hour.

Eva is already in her bed, so she doesn't take long to get to sleep. Then Marine takes a bath and puts on a halter dress. Then she tries to make herself calm down and heads to Conrad's study. She opens the door and checks him out for a bit, although the reminder of his strength is kind of disturbing in this context. He's facing the window, so she hurries into a chair. He turns around and she sees that he's not mad. Marine is relieved and starts smiling, which makes Conrad mad all over again. ...okay. He's holding a slide rule in his hands, and he breaks it, scaring Marine. He smiles at her fear and throws the pieces away one by one. Why is she in love with him again?

She's sitting in a chair. He walks to the front of his desk and leans against it, his feet almost touching hers. Can we talk about the imbalance of power just in their positioning? Conrad is higher than Marine and can move more easily. This is not a good sign. Conrad tells us Helena the Hunter's side of the story, which is true, but not the whole truth. He accuses Marine of making at dig at Helena the Hunter for accepting that money from Conrad. Conrad asks Marine if she's going to deny saying that. Marine replies that she did indeed say that, and that she's not going to elaborate. I mean, I guess it's good not to get whiny about this, but still, this way Marine's remark seems unprovoked. Oh, and then this happens. “She didn't see him move. There was more of an impression of something blurring in front of her before she was lifted from her chair...he snarled, his fingers digging into the soft, bare flesh of her arms.” Seriously? This girl has got to be covered in bruises. Also, a super terrible way to treat your employees. It's law suit worthy.

Oh, Conrad also accuses Marine of making a rift between Helena the Hunter and Eva. Conrad's grip loosens and Marine twists out of his grip. She puts the chair she'd been sitting in between them. Her first good move in this encounter. I wouldn't have sat down. Marine tells Conrad that there was already a rift between Helena the Hunter and Eva, and also that Helena the Hunter didn't plan on going shopping with them anyway. Then the phone rings.

Conrad takes the call, and it's work related. He's trying to open a cylinder, so Marine helps him get the blueprint out. She holds it open while he makes calculations on it. Even after the phone call, he's still writing things on the blueprint. At one point, he looks up and seems surprised to see her there. He apologizes for ignoring her, but tells her it wasn't rude because there's a problem with his work site. Hm. Maybe. Anyway, she asks if she can help, and he replies that she can stop stirring up trouble. Marine doesn't rise to the bait, this time. On her way out, she tells Conrad that Eva had just gotten her hair done and she was sad Conrad didn't notice, so he should say something about it at dinner. Conrad asks what she said, and Marine tells him it was nothing. Then she wonders why she wants to annoy him when before she wanted to help him.

Oi vey. So, let's count up abusive behaviors. 1) Controlling behavior. Conrad didn't let Marine drive herself and Eva shopping. He insisted on driving them. This one could be argued, but with his other actions, I'm going to count it. Oh, this can also be counted as Isolation. 3) Hypersensitivity. If Helena the Hunter and truly been hurt and crying the whole way home, then yes you need to talk to Marine about it, but not the way he did. 4) Breaking or striking objects. When Conrad did confront Marine in his study, one of the first things he did was break something. 5) Any force during an argument. He picked her up and shook her. Need more be said? Oh, also the instance where he grips her wrist way too hard when they first get home from Sydney. So, Marine needs to get out. And possibly get Eva out as well.

My prediction for future chapters: Eva will finally grow tired of Helena the Hunter's manipulative ways and challenge her to a duel. Helena the Hunter will think this won't be hard, and she'll try to weasel her way out of it once they're actually fighting and she sees Eva's skill. Conrad will walk in on Eva holding Helena the Hunter at knife point, and misunderstand. He'll demand the truth, and Eva will demand it from Helena the Hunter as well. Then, finally, Marine will have the chance she needs to escape and make sure that Eva will be well cared for in her absence.

A Matter of Marine-Chapter Three: The Other Woman

This chapter picks up shortly after the other one left off. Marine and Mrs. Wright are wandering in the flower gardens just after breakfast. Mrs. Wright asks Marine not to be mad at her for lying because she doesn't want to be a burden to anyone. Marine assures Mrs. Wright that she's not a burden, but Mrs. Wright doesn't believe her. And why would she? She's had all this conditioning that she's a burden. It's going to take awhile for her to stop believing that, and Conrad will have to stop acting like she is. However unlikely that is. Mrs. Wright also tells Marine that it's okay for Flora and Annie to be there because Marine will be there now to help her. Marine realizes that Mrs. Wright is pretending that Marine is going to stay there forever, just like how she's pretending that Flora and Annie are good at their jobs. Then Marine starts wondering what it'd be like to stay there forever. But no, that's silly. She can't be doing that. No way. Sigh. Anyway...

While Mrs. Wright is taking a nap that afternoon, Marine calls her aunt to bring her up to speed and ask if her aunt can find anyone to take over for Marine once she leaves. The aunt promises to look into it and asks Marine about Christmas. Marine's not sure if she'll be able to go to her family's for Christmas, but thinks it might work if she can bring Mrs. Wright. This is, of course, fine with Marine's aunt. I guess shortly after this call Mrs. Wright wakes up and now they're going to wrap presents. All of the presents are expensive and awesome because Mrs. Wright bought them from Marine's aunt's store. There's a diamond pendant in particular that Mrs. Wright is worried about and debated about for awhile before buying. She asks Marine if it's good enough, and Marine assures her that it is. This pendant is for Helena Wilcox, you see.

Jump to the next evening when Marine meets Helena. Mrs. Wright is asleep and Marine is curled up in the sun room reading, what else, a romance novel. I wonder if the romance novel she was reading was one I've done on this blog, and if she gets as frustrated by the characters as I do. Who needs a fourth wall? Anyway, Helena is kind of predatory and scary without actually doing anything. Well, also, Conrad asks if she should be in bed since it's late, and Marine is dressed more like a teenager than the super-mature and adult 23 year old that she is. Yes, because all 23 year olds are super-mature and adult, especially Marine.

Anyway, Conrad introduces Marine and Helena and Helena is not the happy, squishy kind of personality you'd want to be unexpectedly sharing a room with. She's brittle and hard and...it's all in the way her eyes look and she carries herself, I guess. Well, that and she gets Conrad to kiss her primarily to unnerve Marine, I'm guessing. Conrad pours them all a drink, sherry for the ladies and scotch for himself. Marine gulps down her glass. She's feeling funny and dizzy. I'm pretty sure that's not the alcohol. Anyway, Marine puts her glass back on the liquor cabinet and escapes, saying it's time she went to bed. On her way up, she sees that Mrs. Wright is still awake. Mrs. Wright is flustered because Helena is in the house. I would be too. Marine sits with her until she falls asleep, then heads off to her room.

The next morning dawns bright and beautiful. Marine heads out the to beach, in a yellow bikini this time. The surf is too crazy at the beach right behind Conrad's house, so she wanders for a bit, looking for somewhere nice to swim. She finds a place with some chillaxed water, and swims for a bit. Then Conrad walks out on the beach and yells something to her. She waves, but she can't hear him. He yells something again, and then Marine is violently pulled under. She's caught in a strong rip tide and that's no good. I was kind of thinking it would be a shark or something, but this makes way more sense. Anyway, Marine tries to float on top of it so that hopefully she can ride a wave back to shore, but there's a nasty undertow that messes that plan up. Marine is under the water, unable to get her head above it. She doesn't see her life flash before her eyes, possibly because that would take the focus off of Conrad saving her.

So, now he's holding her above the water while she gasps and recovers her breath. She puts her head on his shoulder and he strokes her hair. Then he bends his head toward her and lightly brushes her lips with his. Hey! You've got a romantic commitment, dude. Back off, or break it off with Helena the Hunter. Anyway, Marine is totally okay with him kissing her, and she kind of wants to bang him, but then he flips her on her back and swims back to shore with her. Good thing that rip tide and undertow only showed up when they were necessary to make Marine a damsel in distress.

Back on land, Conrad is not so nice. In fact, he's super pissed. Apparently there was a sign warning about the rip tide. So, here's Conrad's reaction to Marine almost dying: screaming at her, taking her by the shoulders and shaking her, and pushing his point so far that she starts crying. Once she starts crying, he changes tactics, and holds her close and gets much nicer. So, I checked and he only fits four of the seventeen signs of an abusive partner (force during an argument, controlling behavior, dual personality “Dr. Jekyll Mr. Hyde”, and isolation). Still, I'm going to be on the lookout for this as this novel unfolds. This guy is not showing his tender feelings well.

So, Conrad wraps an arm around her and starts walking her back to the house. Marine likes the way she fits against him, then reminds herself that Conrad's involved with Helena, which makes her shiver. Sure, she remembers that now, not when he kissed her. Anyway, the shiver causes Conrad to pick her up and carry her. She doesn't want anyone from the house to see them, so she asks him to set her down, but he won't. He carries her to her bedroom and sets her down on her bed. I can tell this is a bit more held back in tone than the last novel I snarked, because they don't immediately have sex.

He smiles at her and Marine's various inner organs do acrobatics. Conrad tells her to stay put and that he'll run her a warm bath. After a bit, he comes back, picks her up, and carries her to the bathroom. Also, he used half of the bubble bath, instead of just a capful. His justification? “A devilish expression gleamed in his eyes. 'So I got carried away.'” Hmph. Flirty McFlirts-a-lot-after-screaming-a-lot. I mean, I suppose it's possible he's in an open relationship with Helena the Hunter, but I don't think that's likely. She seems to be pretty possessive of him. Anyway, then Conrad kisses Marine's nose. She wishes it had been her lips, and he can tell, which Marine sees he can tell and that puts her out of sorts again. Oh, that's when he sets her down. Goodness. I know she's short and tiny, but Conrad must be pretty strong to hold her up for so long. Anyway, now that she's standing on her own power, Conrad picks up some bubbles and puts them on top of her head. Marine reaches to grab more and throw them at Conrad, but he's already leaving the bathroom. She calls him a coward and he tells her to enjoy her bath before closing the bedroom door. I was wondering if he was going to let her bathe alone.

As Marine soaks in the bath all sorts of lovely thoughts about Conrad and how it felt when he was holding her fill her mind. But no. That's bad and wrong. Scrub the feelings away! She's reminding me a bit of Lady Macbeth here, but she apparently doesn't scrub her skin raw, so that's a plus. Anyway, then Marine gets out of the bath and gets dressed and such. Mrs. Wright is still in bed. She really doesn't want to go downstairs today. Eventually, Marine finds out it's because Helena the Hunter is there. Seems reasonable to me. Also, it sounds like Mrs. Wright has a very bad feeling about Helena the Hunter: “I know what you're thinking. You think I'm a foolish old woman! You think I don't like Helena because she wants to marry my grandson. You think I'm deliberately trying to make a nuisance of myself so that Conrad will worry and fuss over me. You think I'm trying to put a rift between him and Helena so that they will never marry!” Wow. More on who I think she had been talking to about in a bit.

Marine assures Mrs. Wright that she doesn't think any of those things at all. Marine decides that Mrs. Wright is in no state to eat in the dining room, so she'll bring up breakfast for them both, and they can get out of the house by going shopping today in Manly. Mrs. Wright's alternative had been to stay in her room until Helena left. Mrs. Wright agrees with Marine's plan. Marine gives the condition that they eat in the dining room with everyone else tomorrow, then she heads downstairs to get the two of them breakfast. On the way, she overhears Helena the Hunter talking with Flora. I'll give you the highlights: Flora used to work for Helena's mom, Flora is here for “a good cause”, and Helena wishes that Marine weren't there (probably in her function of looking after Mrs. Wright).

Well, I'm guessing that Mrs. Wright confided in Flora or Annie her misgivings about Helena the Hunter and whoever she talked to made her think that she was being a silly old woman about it, when she's probably very right. Anyway, Marine backs up so they won't know she was listening, makes a bit of noise, and enters the kitchen like she didn't just overhear them. She explains that she's grabbing a bit of breakfast for herself and Mrs. Wright and that they'll be gone all day. She pours two glasses of juice and grabs some bacon. When she's headed back up the hallway, Conrad leaves his study. He is, possibly, disappointed that she and Mrs. Wright won't be eating with them. Marine explains their plans again. Conrad asks if she should be shopping after what happened this morning. She doesn't look well. Marine lies and says that she's fine. There's a lot of that going around in this house. Oh, we also get the information that Conrad hired Flora and Annie simply because Helena the Hunter recommended them. Well, that explains a lot. I'm still not sure why he hasn't looked for some better housekeepers who will actually keep the house clean, though.

All right, my predictions for the next chapter: Mrs. Wright will find the perfect addition to her knife collection when they're out shopping. Mrs. Wright shows Marine how the weapon works with a quick run through against an imaginary opponent. The shopkeeper is so impressed, he gives Mrs. Wright a discount and manages to pass her a secret message. Marine finds a new bikini that's red and yellow. Also, their lunch is far better than what Flora and Annie cook.

Also, I'm a little worried that Flora and Annie are there to harm Mrs. Wright. Maybe they weren't supposed to kill her, just get her feeble enough so Conrad would put her in a home. Of course, I don't know why Helena the Hunter would think that Mrs. Wright could or would stop her from marrying Conrad and getting his money. Maybe there's something in Conrad's will about caring for his grandmother. Or something. I'm sure it will become clear, hidden between Conrad's and Marine's flirtations. Eventually.

A Matter of Marine-Chapter Two: Bamboozlers!

Conrad is mad that Marine has upset Annie and Flora. Marine is mad that Annie and Flora have done such a terrible job cleaning the house and taking care of Mrs. Wright. Conrad asks if Marine had to accuse Anna and Flora of neglecting Mrs. Wright and if she had to fumigate Mrs. Wright's room. Marine pauses before answering. She tells Conrad that he gave her a trial week, and that she'd like to stay for the summer. Right. Southern hemisphere. Christmas happens in the summer in Australia. How long of a break does her school take in the summer?

Conrad stops yelling for a moment and she can see how tired he is. She feels bad that there's no one there to take care of him or his grandmother. Yeah, she's already got it bad and she met this guy three days ago. Conrad tells her that he can't afford to keep her. He doesn't say, anything about being on the staff, just keeping her. I know it's a common expression, but let's be real. He wants her to take care of more than just his grandma.

Anyway, he can't employ someone who's gonna stir up the staff to such craziness. Marine suggests firing them again since they suck at their job. Conrad replies that he can't. He depends on them to be there and it's apparently either Flora and Annie or putting his grandma in a home. Marine asks when Conrad last looked at his grandmother's room. From there we go to the built in kitchen, to how Mrs. Wright is being made to feel like she's a burden. Conrad asks why she stirred up trouble. Marine tells him that trouble was already there. Then she sees the lines on tension on his face and she wants to smooth them away.

Marine collects herself and tells Conrad, apparently in a gentler voice, that Grandma needs to be mentally stimulated, looked after, and feel loved. They argue about Grandma's food. She gets one hot meal a day from Flora and Annie, but last night's chicken had gone bad and the veggies had been blackened. Marine sent it back and made herself and Mrs. Wright omelets. Conrad says that he'll ask his grandmother about this in the morning. Then he pulls Marine out of her chair and, if she's lying, threatens to beat her. Excuse me? How would that even approach being appropriate behavior for an employer? Dump him before you even date him, Marine.

Oh, then we have the discussion about Grandma's sleeping arrangements. Conrad is infuriated that Marine let Grandma sleep in a room that had been fumigated. Marine argues that they didn't fumigate it; they sprayed it themselves and it's safe for her to be in. Conrad questions why she didn't tell him this before and she says she didn't get the chance to. Except she totally did. She paused just after he said something about fumigating that room. Also, Christmas is a huge worry to these people. I hope it's worth all of the stress. Well, whatever, they'll talk about this more after breakfast.

The next day, Marine wakes up at 5:30. And stays awake. Wow. Then Marine pulls her long legs out of bed to look at the day. Last chapter, she was petite and 5 foot 5 inches. Now she's got long legs? Marine sees the ocean and decides she's got time for a quick dip. She changes into her red bikini, double checks that Grandma is still asleep, and runs out to the beach. Marine ponders the previous day while she floats in the ocean. She and Mrs. Wright cleaned Mrs. Wright's room yesterday. Mrs. Wright had enjoyed it. Also, apparently servants are really hard to find nowadays so you have to cater to them in order to keep them instead of the other way around. Also, Mrs. Wright has a bad heart, so it's important that someone be there all the time. Therefore, they need at least two workers so that if one is out shopping, the other can be there for her. In theory, anyway. Marine makes noises about having her aunt find some new folks and Mrs. Wright freaks out. If Annie and Flora think they're being replaced, they might just leave.

Marine floats back to shore and settles herself to dry in the sun on her towel. Also, yesterday Marine and Mrs. Wright found one of Conrad's books in Mrs. Wright's room. She'd borrowed it forever ago, and Marine went to put it in his room. His room is spotless. Marine thinks that he's assuming his grandma gets the same care. Yeah, but what about the rest of the house? The ridiculously dusty and dirty house?

A shadow blocks Marine's face. Is it a sea monster? A deadly spider? Oh. Hello, Conrad. He smiles at her, and Marine stops feeling like she's doing something wrong. So, the sight of him makes her think he's going to tell at her. Yup, true love. Conrad is impressed that she beat him to the beach. He's oggled her at least twice, so now Marine takes a turn while he's in his board shorts. By the way, their swimsuits are the same color of red. They must be meant for each other! “He was by far the most exciting male specimen she had ever seen, or was ever likely to see!” Wow. Really? Something about that sentence just bothers me. Maybe it's the exclamation mark.

Conrad offers her a chance to ride his surf board and she declines. He laughs and says it's too large for her anyway. Then he oggles her. He's just gotta keep doing that, doesn't he? Oh, but it's totally fine. “[Marine] knew the difference between being leered at and being openly admired and Conrad was openly admiring her, making her feel glad and proud that she was a woman.” Isn't it a conflict of interest to screw your boss? Or your grandmother's caretaker?

Oh, hey! Look at those waves! They're large, which is caused by the King Tides that come to Australia around Christmas. (It totally is Australia. Good.) Anyway, these waves are huge and Marine is worried about Conrad riding one, but he's a wild bad boy. Of course he's going to! ...and it's the most perfect-est show of athleticism Marine's ever seen. He's so dreamy. Or something. Marie runs into the surf to hand him a towel, and he dries his face and hair a little. Then they start walking back toward the house. He's only going to ride one wave? Huh.

Anyway, they start talking about surfing, and they're both enjoying talking to each other and whatnot. Conrad taught himself how to surf, you know. Marine tells him how she bragged to a boyfriend that she could surf when she was fourteen, and almost drowned trying to show him. Now she can surf decently in calm waters, but not in crazy ones like Conrad. Then he gets all pissy and makes a comment about how “a girl like her” would have plenty of boyfriends. Marine asks what he means and it goes downhill from there. You see, he wants to bang her, but he doesn't want to have to fight anyone else for it, so the idea of her dating other people makes him mad. Not that Marine picks up on this.

Conrad tells her that she's outgoing, and got a beautiful face and figure, so she's probably dated lots of guys. He makes it sound like an insult. Marine argues that, yes, she has had her fair share of boyfriends. Then they stare at each other, holding their breath. Finally, Conrad tells Marine she should be getting Grandma ready for breakfast. She defiantly replies that she should be. Then she goes upstairs, showers, and dresses entirely in pink. Why, Marine? Why not wear more than one color? But it's okay, because the jeans are tight and the sleeveless top shows off her curves. Or something.

Marine goes to Mrs. Wright's room to find that Mrs. Wright is already down at breakfast. Annie helped her get to the bath and get dressed and such. Now she's changing Mrs. Wright's sheets, even though Marine and Mrs. Wright changed them yesterday. Oh, and they were gross yesterday! Also, Annie's got a vacuum cleaner and cleaning stuff in the room. Oh, side note of something I didn't think was important at the time. Apparently, Conrad doesn't spend a lot of time in his house. Because he works about 2 hours away, he'll stay in his town house or at the construction site most of the time. That's how Annie and Flora were able to get away with their lack of cleaning. Although, you'd think the dusty entryway would give them away.

Conrad is at the head of the table, wearing entirely beige clothing. Ew. Mrs. Wright is there as well, and Conrad is laughing at something she just said. Anyway, this breakfast is delicious and extensive. Once they've finished their meal, and are lingering over their coffees, Conrad begins asking his grandma about the kind of treatment she's been getting.

Mrs. Wright, not wanting to make a fuss, says that everything is fine. Oh, the omelet last night instead of the chicken that Flora and Annie made? That's because she wanted something lighter. Yeah. That. Well, now Conrad doesn't believe Marine that Mrs. Wright has been neglected and Flora and Annie are going to have it out for Marine now. Those bamboozlers! Also, Conrad is torn between desire for Marine and finding her an aggravating jerk. This must be a romance novel.

In the next chapter, I predict... Marine and Conrad will fight again. This time about tomatoes. Grandma will show Marine her knife collection. Marine will be awed that they're so well taken care of and Grandma will reply with something about how she cleans them every night. Just in case. Also, Conrad will be eaten by a sea monster while he's surfing.

A Matter of Marine-Chapter One: Terrible Maids

The book opens on the line, “You're saying my grandmother is a thief?” I thought that meant this was about someone who traced back families and ancestry and such. No, the grandmother in question is alive. You see Marine, our title character, is a teacher who is helping her aunt over the holidays by working in the aunt's shop. The man who uttered the opening line, Conrad Wright, is a business tycoon who apparently is not worried that his grandmother is forgetting things, getting scarily skinny, and generally looks lonely and sees no need to hire a companion for her. They use the word companion quite a bit. I'm waiting for the blue telephone booth to appear out of nowhere.

Marine had meant to get Conrad to hire someone from an agency to look after his grandmother. Conrad eventually decides a companion might be a good idea. Grandma does get in the way around Christmas and whatnot. Since Marine's had lunch with grandma twice and actually seems to care about her, Conrad offers her the job. She turns him down. She's just got this temporary job until she goes back to teaching. Conrad eyes her a little too much and tells her that she looks more like a student than a teacher. She calls him on his use of flattery to get what he wants. He doesn't care. She accepts the position. So, of course, he has to ask if it was because of his flattery. No, of course not! She decided that she'd do it when he said that Grandma got in the way. ...which was several sentences ago and she could have taken the job earlier if that was her thought.

Anyway, Conrad doesn't like being called out on saying his grandma was in the way, so he asks Marine if abandoning her aunt is really okay. Marine elaborates that she's not really needed at the shop. Conrad asks if that means she's in the way like his grandma. Her response: “If it makes you happy to think so, then, yes, you're probably right.” Then they haggle about time commitment. She wants a Monday through Friday, 9-5 deal, but Conrad says that if he's getting a companion for his grandma, it'll be a 24/7 deal. Marine says she has an apartment and has no need to stay at his house, where Grandma lives. They talk about traffic and driving times and finally Conrad talks her into a compromise, which really isn't. She'll drive out to their house on Monday, stay the week, and decide about it then. Well, fine. She'll be there around 10. Conrad tells Marine he'll be looking forward to seeing her. She shoots back that she'll be looking forward to seeing his grandmother.

Conrad's an ass, and I really don't want her to fall for him, but this is a romance novel. During their exchange, her heart kept beating faster and she was blushing and such. They're gonna bang. And end up together. And I'm sure that something will come along to make him not seem like an asshole. Of course, that'll have to be a pretty impressive something. You'll see why in a bit.

By the way, I'm pretty sure this is set in Australia. The first scene takes place in downtown Sydney, there's a lot of talk about being on the coast, and Marine mentions the bush versus the coast when she's driving later. Wait. If this is happening in Australia, the potential for awesome just got much higher. Everything there is trying to kill people. (Yes, everything.) So, we could have Marine as a weapons expert taking out giant, poisonous spiders. Or maybe the grandma has throwing knives to cut poisonous snakes in half lengthwise as they open their mouths to bite. A girl can dream.

That night Marine is having dinner with her aunt, uncle, and two cousins, like they do every Friday night. It takes until dessert for the aunt to ask about the meeting with Conrad Wright. Marine tells her all about it. Uncle is distressed that Marine will be staying in Conrad's house when he has that kind of reputation with the ladies. A cousin breaks in that Marine is 23 and Conrad has to be at least 32 so they're not kids. Huh. Their ages are the reverse of each other. Also, why is the age difference often this large in romance novels? Not that people 9 years apart shouldn't date, it just seems to always be that way. Never, like, 2 years. Weird. Anyway, the family agrees that, whatever the circumstances, Mrs. Wright needs someone to look after her.

So, Marine spends the weekend getting her flat ready for her to not be in it, and makes the drive up the coast to the Wright estate. I hope she doesn't find the wrong one. (Don't worry. The puns come free of charge.) I just realized, he's Mr. Wright! Now I really hope they don't end up together, just to break the expectation. Then again, romance novels generally like to play inside the lines of genre. Anyway, Marine is wondering what type of house she'll find. Perhaps it'll be infested with deadly plants! But really, they exist in Australia too. Just as she thinks she's missed the house, Marine sees a sign for the Wright estate, and she turns onto the driveway.

Oh, hey. A gorgeous, giant seaside house with a gardener outside. How unexpected. Marine gets herself and her suitcase to the door and uses the giant knocker. A middle aged housekeeper named Flora answers and lets Marine inside. She mentions something about how she doesn't think Mrs. Wright needs a companion, but then again it's a lot to ask keeping this whole place clean and looking after grandma. Then Flora goes to find Annie so Annie can show Marine to her room. While Marine is waiting, she notices how incredibly dirty the house is. Wow. What awful maids. Yes, there are just two of them for this giant house, which is kinda dumb, but everywhere is dusty and dirty, and also covered in priceless antiques. Well, except Marine's room. There's pink everywhere, even pink velvet curtains, and it's all clean. Apparently, it took all weekend to clean it.

Annie tells Marine where Mrs. Wright's room is. Marine asks where Mrs. Wright, herself, is. Probably in her room. “Old Mrs. Wright never goes out of her room unless it's necessary.” The stairs are hard for her and Annie and Flora have so much cleaning to do they can't possibly be around to help her with them. Or something. Also, Flora had directed not to tell Mrs. Wright when Marine arrived because she knew Mrs. Wright would only get in the way. What a terrible place to live. It's certainly poisonous emotionally, if not necessarily with all sorts of critters. Also, Annie guesses that Mrs. Wright is probably napping because that's all she seems to do. It's not-quite 10:30 AM. Marine asks to be told when Mr. Wright gets back, no matter how late it is. Annie agrees and walks out of the room. Marine waits for Annie to leave the hallway, then goes and knocks on Mrs. Wright's door.

She was not napping, after all. However, her room was dark and stuffy. At first Mrs. Wright doesn't recognize Marine, but when Marine introduces herself, Mrs. Wright remembers her. She's so touched that someone actually cares about her. Poor thing. After getting permission, Marine opens the drapes and the windows to air out the room, which is filthy. Mrs. Wright is also still in her bathrobe with uncombed hair. I guess if Flora and Annie don't take care of the house, why would they feel compelled to take care of someone in it?

Marine asks if Conrad ever visits Mrs. Wright in her room. Mrs. Wright is shocked at the idea. Then Marine notices the burnt toast that Mrs. Wright has picked at for breakfast. I'm ready to lay another fault at Flora and/or Annie's door, but Mrs. Wright made her own breakfast. Look at the microwave and stuff Conrad put in her room so she wouldn't be a bother to anyone! Isn't it wonderful? Marine looks at the meager food supplies Mrs. Wright has, and sees a cockroach in her pantry. Marine slams the door shut. She tells Mrs. Wright she's very glad to be there and that she's going to be making changes.

So, you were wondering what else Conrad had done to make me dislike him when he wasn't even in that part of the chapter. He did nothing about Flora and Anna, for starters. I'm guessing it'll come out that him employing them will be some sort of very sweet act that allows something good to happen somewhere else, but he really needs to talk to them about actually doing the job they're paid to do. Also, he truly must not care about his grandma at all. Also, also, if there's one cockroach in Mrs. Wright's room, the whole mansion is probably infested. That'll be a hefty exterminator bill.

My guesses for the next chapter: Marine will angrily confront Conrad about living conditions for his grandma and the state of the house. Conrad will say something disarming that makes Marine blush, but not forget her anger, damn it. Then a sea monster will rise from the depths and beach itself just outside the Wright estate. Grandma will go charging down the beach, fight it, kill it, and cook it up for dinner.