A Matter of Marine-Chapter Ten: I'm Going to Punch Conrad in His Smug Face

Sorry about the delayed chapter, readers. I'm the worst.

When we last left Conrad and Marine, they were on the beach and Conrad had told Marine that he'd been waiting for her. In this chapter, Marine finally replies to him by pretty much asking him, “Really?” with big doe eyes. Then she looks him over and notices the loosened tie, unbuttoned top button of his shirt, and how he's not wearing his jacket any more. I'm pretty sure they're going to bang soon. So, Conrad picks Marine up, carries her to another sand dune, lays her on his jacket and finally replies to her question with a yes. He also tells her that he's been wanting to hold her all night. Well, maybe you should break up with your gold digging girlfriend. Then he kisses her. It's, “a gentle, loving kiss and one which made no demands on her.” Wait. He's capable of doing that? Huh. I had no idea. The two snuggle closer together and listen to each others' beating hearts. Life is so peaceful and wonderful.

Suddenly, the world is on fire! I got really excited when I read this sentence. Maybe some plot was about to happen! But no, sadly it was just the sunrise that Marine was talking about. Damn it. Marine disentangles herself a little from Conrad to look at the sunrise, but she quickly turns back to him. He looks so much younger and more vulnerable and whatnot when he's asleep. Then Marine bends down and kisses him awake. This is so sweet; it almost makes me forget that Conrad is an abusive, cheating jerk.

The two canoodle for a bit and then Marine has to freak out about how they'd better get back to the house. Conrad asks why and Marine says that she doesn't want folks to get the wrong impression of them still being in their clothes from the night before and together. Remember that girlfriend you have, Conrad? Finally, Conrad agrees and the two stand up. Conrad tells Marine that she looks beautiful in the morning: “All soft and rosy.” Marine tells him that he does too and they tease each other a little. Okay, Ms. Badger, can we have a little talk? This is adorable behavior actually suitable for folks we're supposed to believe are in love. For your future work, can you do more of this and less of the abuse? Kthanks.

Oh, they also joke about skinny dipping and why Marine won't. The pelicans or sea gulls might tell on her, you see. They're actually being cute. It's weird. So, then they finally go back to the house and Marine is freaking out. Conrad tells her she has nothing to worry about and that she should go to her room first. He'll go to his in a bit. Marine dashes up to her room without seeing anyone, takes a quick shower, and lies down for awhile. Or...until noon. Annie is bringing Marine breakfast in bed and is super pissed about it. She also notices that there's sand in Marine's room and that Conrad is only just now getting up as well. Then she tries to imply that Marine and Conrad banged in the sand last night. Well, they didn't! ...much to my surprise.

Marine gets Annie to leave her alone and finishes her breakfast. Then she remembers the night she spent on the beach in Conrad's arms and how nice it was. I'm still digesting that something so sweet happened in this novel. Then I remember that Conrad has a girlfriend and it dispels the illusion. Anyway, Marine gets dressed and, just like always, we get a look at what her outfit is and how it looks on her. It's pretty. She rambles downstairs and joins Eva and some nameless party goers in some polite conversation. Awhile later, Marine is helping Eva upstairs when Eva asks if Marine has found the diamond pendant yet. Oh. Yeah. That. After Marine gets Eva to her room, Marine heads out to the box of wrapping paper which they were going to burn. Why are they going to burn it? I can only assume it's part of a ritual or something.

Anyway, while Marine is digging through the wrapping paper, Conrad and Helena the Hunter walk up. Marine doesn't want to admit what she's doing, but Helena the Hunter asks if Marine is saving wrapping paper, so she uses the convenient lie. She wanted a specific piece...this one! When she shows them the paper she wanted to keep, Marine realizes that it's the wrapping from Conrad's present to her. Oops. Then we jump into a time warp. No, really, the next paragraph talks about how it's two days later.

You see, Marine, somehow, finally told Conrad that the diamond pendant was missing. Conrad is pissed that she didn't tell him earlier. She's just a woman, after all. She needs to tell the man these things so he can deal with them. Ugh. Now it clicks for Conrad what Marine was doing digging through the wrapping paper. He thought she was being sentimental about them. Marine offers that she kept the wrapping paper, but it doesn't mean as much now. Then Conrad brings up the possibility that someone stole the pendant and Marine throws back at him that only his guests were there and asks if he thinks any of them would have taken it. Then she leaves before he can answer.

Over the next few days Marine blames herself for not telling Conrad that it went missing right away. What would he have done that you didn't do, Marine? Short of asking his guests to turn out their pockets and have their rooms searched, there's not much more to be done here. I mean, we know Helena the Hunter took it, but Marine doesn't seem to. Anyway, Marine hangs out with Eva and they spend New Years together, which is nice. We also get a bit on how Marine is sickened at how Helena the Hunter plays for Conrad's attention all the time. I'm glad we just get this in summary. I'm so done with Helena the Hunter.

Also, always the teacher, Marine reflects on what this place has taught her: love, neglect, pain, and how she had thought Conrad was falling in love with her but now she realizes that he totally isn't. Oh, hey, look! More character interactions. Annie wants to vacuum out Marine's room. Marine tells Annie that she just cleaned her own room as well as Eva's, but Annie is insistent that she needs to do it too or Flora will be mad. Conrad opens his door and notices this scene, but doesn't do much about it. Well, fine then, Annie. Just clean it again. Whatever.

So, they're about halfway through a lovely breakfast when Annie has to burst in and ruin it. She found the diamond pendant in Marine's room, you see. Yeah, okay. Helena the Hunter is still here, for some reason. She commends Annie for finding the necklace and accuses Marine of stealing it. Then Conrad and Helena the Hunter stare down Marine. She squares her shoulders and tells them that she didn't take it. Eva believes her and basically says, “Screw them. Let's go hang in the garden and let them figure their shit out.”

Then we get another summary of passing time. Conrad still isn't speaking to Marine, but she feels like he wants to tell her something. Helena the Hunter isn't around much. Then one morning, Conrad is in the kitchen making breakfast happily. Marine still isn't speaking with him and his incessant humming and singing means that she can't ask him where Flora and Annie went. Eva doesn't know either. Conrad also makes lunch happily and there's no sign of Helena the Hunter. Odd.

As has become her custom, after Marine has gotten Eva settled for her nap, Marine heads out to the beach to get shells for her class. She isn't as excited about teaching as she used to be and we get some emo comparisons of Marine's emotional state to a sea shell. Then Conrad is suddenly next to her and acting like everything is okay. He mentions that Marine's aunt called, but it's several paragraphs of shell-gathering more before they actually talk. Marine ask how he knew where she was. He tells her that he always knows where she is and what she's doing. Creepy. So, when Marine was hanging out at her aunt's in Sydney and he didn't get the message, he was going crazy with worry. That's why he had to take her keys. To keep her there with him forever. And ever. Oh, and then he tells her that he loves her and has since she challenged him in his office at the beginning of the book.

Really, you've loved her for that long? Then why the hell were you dating Helena the Hunter for all this time? Seriously. Conrad, you're a dick. Sorry, I'm ruining the moment. Conrad asks Marine to marry him. I love his excuse for not asking her earlier: “...there were several things I had to clear up first...” Like that woman you were dating, or your treacherous maids? Conrad goes on to say that he hopes Marine feels the same way about him. She's crying and he asks about that. She tells him that he's too late. He thinks that she's a thief and it's awful. Then Conrad explains the situation that makes me like him even less.

OK, so, he had an idea that something was up with that diamond pendant. Then when Annie insisted on cleaning Marine's room, he knew that Helena the Hunter was in cahoots with Flora and Annie and that Annie was going to “discover” the pendant in Marine's room to try to force them apart. His reason for not letting on that he knew? “...I wanted to find out the whole story.” Jerk. Also, I win everything because I predicted this too: Conrad found out that Helena the Hunter believed that the only thing standing between her and the altar was Eva, so Flora and Annie were supposed to get Eva committed to a home. Then Marine shows up and not only messes that up, but also falls in love with Conrad. Then Conrad begs for forgiveness for hurting Marine like this for days and asks her to marry him again.

Marine, please, act counter to your archetype of the female lead of a romance novel and tell him no. Please? She replies by asking where Helena the Hunter and her minions are. Conrad put them on a plane back to Melbourne last night. I guess that explains why, in his crazy mind, he couldn't talk to Marine until today. Anyway, Marine reprimands him for getting too caught up in his work and Conrad replies that he's glad it happened because that's how he met Marine and how he didn't think the right girl existed for him. Oh, also his head is in her lap and the POV shifted unexpectedly. So, we hear from Conrad how it's okay that Marine is sometimes tugging at his hair because he totally deserves it. Um. Okay.

Then Marine gives the most nonchalant reply to a proposal: “Well, I guess I had better marry you.” No, please. Don't be so emotional. Then Marine jokes about having a dozen kids to keep Conrad from getting wrapped up in his work and he freaks out a little. I would freak out too. A dozen? Marine, think of your lady bits! Anyway, they declare their love for each other and promise to work to make the other one happy. Eventually, they even leave the beach to tell Eva that they're engaged. End of story.

Well then. I hope we all learned something. Beauty and the Beast is not a dead story and Stockholm syndrome has a place in romance novels. Oh, were you wondering about what Helena the Hunter did after Conrad dumped her? Well, she had that conversation about saving the world with Marine's parents a few days prior to that. They had not revealed who they were, so Helena the Hunter has no idea. She decides that, since her meal ticket has dumped her, she'll try this “world saving” thing and see how well it pays. Maybe having a magical diamond pendant will give her everything she wants. Marine's parents see that they'll have their hands full managing Helena the Hunter. They're just glad they were able to convince Helena the Hunter to part from her minions. They don't want to add more people than necessary to their quest. They meet her at the Melbourne airport to fly back to Africa and defeat this great evil.

So, now that that's all tied up, let's have a talk about the future, readers. As some of you may know, November is National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo. Participants try to write 50,000 words in 30 days which, if you do the math, is an average of 1,667 words a day, more or less. I'm going to try to do this again this year. Sadly, this means that I'm taking a hiatus from this blog for a month. “But wait!” I can hear you say, “there's still three Fridays until November. What will you do until then?” I'm glad you asked, reader. Awhile ago I wrote a piece poking fun at a particularly popular love story about shiny people with really weird diets and how the rules of vampirism just don't work in this series. So, I'll put that up for the next three weeks. Then, I'll be back here on December 5^th with the first chapter of the next novel I make fun of. Unless I get distracted. Like I did last week.

Also, this is my 69th post.  Oh baby.