A Matter of Marine-Chapter Seven: I Can't Even Believe This

The subject of my outrage happens at the end of the chapter, so it'll be awhile before we get there, but just prepare yourselves for it. It's a giant red flag and not at all okay. In the meantime, here's the rest of the chapter:

So, when we left them, Helena the Hunter was reading poetry to Eva and everything seemed great. On a closer look, not so much. Helena the Hunter dressed Eva in a beige dress that didn't really fit, messed up her hairdo, and somehow got Eva to walk with a cane. The suggestion of needing a cane makes Eva walk differently, too. The overall effect, as Rosemary Badger describes it, is that all of it, “made her seem like a candidate for a nursing home where the innmates supped their meals through straws and slept in cots with the sides rolled up.” Helena the Hunter is good at what she does, I suppose.

So, Helena the Hunter walks up to Conrad, quotes a cliché of a poetry line at him (How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.), wraps her arms around him, and kisses him. Marine can't bear to watch this, and really, I can't either. Worth nothing, seeing Eva walk like she needs the cane makes Marine tear up. I'm glad there's someone who consistently cares for Eva. Anyway, Marine asks Eva, quietly, if she's had breakfast. Helena the Hunter overhears and snaps back that, of course, she's had breakfast. While Marine was gone Helena the Hunter had to take care of Eva all by herself. Conrad tells her to calm down and that they only went to get the tree and meats. Helena the Hunter complains about Flora and Annie not being enough staff and how they've agreed that Marine should pitch in. Conrad doesn't agree with this. Oh, this is where Helena the Hunter really lets loose about how difficult it is to care for that old baggage, and Conrad gets super pissed. Seeing that she's crossed the line, Helena uses her one defense: she bursts into tears and falls against Conrad. He doesn't try to comfort her at all. Marine thinks it's best to get Eva and herself away from there. Good plan.

Once Eva's in her room, she starts crying too. Poor thing. All of this drama about her is surely not helping her new found self-esteem. Marine hugs her and does her best to comfort her. Eventually, she looks up and sees Conrad in the doorway. Marine has a feeling that Conrad and Eva would want a moment, so she leaves the room. From her room, Marine calls her aunt to tell her that she won't be there for Christmas dinner. They don't have printed dialogue, so we know it's not an important conversation. After she hangs up the phone, Marine contemplates what Conrad and Eva might be talking about. She can't help but remember Eva walking with the cane and get super pissed about it. Good! Again, I'm glad that one person in this house actually cares about Eva.

Eventually, someone knocks on the door and it's Conrad. Marine asks about Eva and he tells her that she's resting. Then he asks what Marine said to her, as he's never seen her so upset. Marine questions this, but then Conrad walks over to the window and looks at all of the guests arriving, annoyed at how many of them there are. Marine archly reminds him of how they've been focused on Conrad's guests for days now. Although, these folks are Helena the Hunter's guests. He told her not to invite them, but she did anyway. Marine remarks that Helena the Hunter basically does whatever the hell she wants. Then Marine opens her door, telling Conrad to get out.

Then Marine doesn't let him talk. No, really. He walks over to the door and puts his hand on the handle. Before he can say anything, Marine tells him that he'd better go because Helena the Hunter will be wondering where he is. A muscle in Conrad's jaw jumps at this. I wonder if he's realizing that he should stop dating this woman yet. As he walks down the hall, Marine yells after him that she didn't say anything to upset Eva, that she was comforting Conrad's grandma.

Then Marine closes the door and takes a moment to collect herself. She walks back to the window and looks out at the swarm of people. There's about forty out there now. As Marine thinks, “The way Helena [the Hunter] was behaving anyone would think the house, the pool, the whole estate belonged to her.” That is exactly what Helena the Hunter is going for. Conrad is secondary to that goal. Then Marine reflects on how this will probably happen and then Eva and Conrad won't have any peace or happiness anymore. I'm kind of impressed that she's just worried about that and doesn't think about how she wants to marry Conrad instead.

Then Marine reflects on how Conrad can put up with Helena the Hunter's nastiness. She thinks that it's because he loves her, so he'll forgive her for everything all the time. That's not how a healthy relationship works. Anyway, Marine laid herself down to think about this and took a little nap. She wakes up awhile later and looks out the window again. There's Conrad looking debonair and relaxed. Every time he laughs, Marine finds herself making fists. I honestly don't get this one. Maybe it's because he's just being a good host for Helena's friends as well even though he really did not want them there and he's faking the laughter? I'm not sure how Marine would know that, and the text doesn't support this thought. (Can you tell I got a degree in English?) Anyway, whatever. Torturous emotions, blah blah blah.

Marine finds herself stalking him with her eyes. So, she also notices Helena the Hunter following him around obsessively. You see, he's so dashing that all of the ladies want him, and he knows it. Helena the Hunter is afraid of losing him to some other woman. Oh honey. When you do, it'll be to Marine. Also, I guess they're not in an open relationship, so Conrad has been cheating on Helena the Hunter this whole time. Just so we're all aware.

Eventually, Marine tears herself away from the window and back to her life. She and Eva are now trapped upstairs with nothing to do. Rude. So, Marine looks in on Eva. She's still sleeping. Marine takes a shower, which, the text notes, includes washing her hair. I would have assumed that, but okay... Then Marine looks in on Eva again and finds that she's awake. Eva seems to have forgotten whatever she was upset about, and is now just worried about her hair.

I mean, the hair is important, but can we take a moment here? This is twice now that Eva has magically forgotten something that was deeply upsetting to her. I'm not sure if she's bottling it up, or genuinely forgetting. Neither one is all that good, but you can only really do something for the first one. So, yes, I'm a little worried for her mental health. Either that or her moods are a plot point, so they'll change accordingly. I mean if we want to look at the architecture of the story...

Anyway, Marine suggests that Eva take a bath, and they'll see what they can do for her hair. They can't fix it, and Eva refuses to go through Christmas with unsatisfactory hair. Good for her! She should feel like her wants and needs are important. So, the two decide to go to Palm Beach, a nearby town, to get her to another salon. Eva remembers one there, but Marine wonders if it is still there. Also, Eva is in a much more suitable dress now, because Marine helped her get dressed. They head downstairs and Conrad meets them at the foot of the stairs. He gives Marine a once over and tells her to put on her bikini. They have a nice chair under the biggest umbrella for his grandma. Then he tucks his grandma's hand under his arm, and Marine's under his other arm and suggests they join the party. How is Marine supposed to put on a bikini if she's out at the party? We're saved from this conundrum by Eva remembering that she needs to get her hair done. It looks fine to Conrad. He also likes the dress that she's wearing. You mean the dress that you bought her, Conrad? This is the first time she's worn it, but it fits so much better than all of her old clothes.

Conrad is embarrassed because he, apparently, never thought his grandma would need new clothes. He promises to take her shopping at least once a year. The he looks at Marine. Okay, twice a year. Eva, the realist, asks him how he intends to accomplish that, since he's spread so thin with all of his work all over the place. Then Eva is awesome, “Of course, if I had another grandson and if that grandson were smarter than you then he would find a nice girl like Marine here and marry her and she would take me shopping.” Yes! I love old ladies who speak their minds. I plan on becoming one, eventually. Marine is embarrassed and Conrad takes that as her saying that she would never want to marry into this family. On the contrary, Conrad. On the contrary.

Anyway, Marine tries to cover up her emotions, as always, by being bright and chipper. If they're going to fix Eva's hair, they'd better get going. Conrad says Eva had better take advantage of Marine's services while she's there since she's leaving at the end of the summer. He just loves pissing her off. Because Eva is there, Marine doesn't rise to the bait as much. She just mentions how the end of summer is a long way away, so they'll both have the pleasure of her company for awhile yet. She tries to look scathingly at Conrad, but just manages a “wistful and lonely”. She looks away quickly before he can read too much into it. After all, “It wouldn't do to have him think that it wasn't only Eva who could take advantage of her services!” Oh baby. Then Helena the Hunter has to rush in and ruin everything.

She blows Conrad's disappearance way out of proportion and says the party will die without him. I'm sure that forty or more people noticed when one person left. He tells Helena the Hunter that he was trying to get Eva and Marine to join them. Helena the Hunter is aghast at the very suggestion. Conrad replies, far too bitterly, that they have better things to do and implies that the hairdo is just an excuse. Rude. Very rude. Marine watches him go. Helena the Hunter stays put because she has to be a bitch some more. “I see you're still trying to get him to notice you.” She says she had thought that Marine was using Eva to get to Conrad, but that can't be the case since they spend all of their time in hair salons. Then Helena the Hunter says that Marine's hair is stupid, whips her long, luscious locks over her shoulder and saunters off after Conrad.

Eva offers the highest compliment she can to Marine's hair, “It looks clean and fresh.” Now, my initial reaction is that this isn't a very good compliment. However, Eva was trying to be nice, so she thinks this is good. She must be used to having dirty hair, probably because she's been so very neglected. Oh my goodness, we have consequences for characters' situations. Nicely done, Rosemary Badger.

Marine thanks Eva for the compliment and asks if she wants something to eat there or at Palm Beach. Eva, wisely, chooses Palm Beach. I had forgotten how early they started this day. They must be talking about lunch. I forget that people wake up this early if they don't have a pressing reason to. Anyway, the two head over to Palm Beach where they find several salons, although not the one that Eva went to. They have to wait for an appointment here, so they grab some lunch. When they're done eating, Marine loses herself in thought. It's about how Conrad always misunderstands what she does. Eva asks Marine what's wrong, and Marine says something about the time of year. She doesn't follow up with any reason summer or Christmas is depressing to her, so I have to assume that she is lying without conviction.

Eva, of course, doesn't believe this and asks if it's because of what Helena the Hunter said. Eva advises Marine to ignore the bitch. That's what Eva does. Marine replies that it isn't Helena the Hunter, although she admits that Helena the Hunter is hard to deal with sometimes. Instead of talking about why she's unhappy, she talks about how Conrad seems unhappy. Here we find out some more about the guest situation. Both Helena the Hunter and Conrad invited guests to their soiree. Helena the Hunter is a model (Oh. If we learned this earlier, I had forgotten), so all of her friends are artsy. Helena the Hunter has friends? Actual friends? I don't believe that. Eva finishes by saying that Conrad should be happier once his guests arrive. Marine apparently hadn't figured out that they both had guests coming to this thing. Oh, then we get this bit from Eva.

She's talking about how opposites attract, but she doesn't think that Helena the Hunter is right for Conrad. Also, she thinks that Helena the Hunter might just be a golddigger. Marine pretends to be shocked. Eva continues by saying that she doesn't think Conrad loves Helena the Hunter either, but that he “hasn't bothered to take the time to get rid of her.” Excuse me? With someone as high maintenance as Helena the Hunter, it would be way easier to get rid of her than to keep putting up with her shit. I mean, she would throw a hissy fit when you broke up, and she'd be super pissed about it for awhile, but if you don't hang with her crowd anyway, would it really matter?

Marine, meanwhile, is super happy about this news. If there's no love between Conrad and Helena the Hunter, then there's hope for her and Conrad to get together! Oh, but even thought Helena the Hunter isn't right for Conrad, neither is Marine. They're from two different worlds. It would never work. Yadda yadda. She really doesn't know that she's the main character in a romance novel.

Anyway, Marine and Eva had driven into Sydney and let themselves be talked into dinner with Marine's family. Eva was the center of attention, telling tales of Christmases long past. Marine had called the house and told Flora that they would be late getting back because of their dinner. Yeah, like she's going to pass that message on. When they do get back sometime after nine, the music is really pumping. I'm not sure how they're going to sleep, even on a different level of the house. Also, there's a billion people there and it's hard for Marine to find parking.

They make it inside and, oh hey Conrad. Oh, you and Helena the Hunter weren't hanging out in the sun room for some alone time? You were just hanging out by yourself? I knew he didn't actually want to have this party. Oh, also, Conrad was super worried about them, but, of course, shows it by being super pissed off. He yells at Marine, asking why she kept Eva out so late. Eva argues that they had a great time. Conrad snaps back that everyone was worried about them (read: just him). He'd been up and down the road looking for them to see if they'd gotten in a wreck and he was just about to phone the police. Marine tries to apologize, but he won't hear it. He gives Marine some more anger and Marine mentions how she had called Flora and told her they would be staying in Sydney for dinner. Conrad wants to know who with. Marine is tempted to tell him they ate with some charming gentlemen in an expensive restaurant. I almost wish she would have. She tells him the truth, though, which is really a better plan.

Now Conrad's anger is gone and he looks “heartbreaking vulnerable”. Then Marine understands what kind of strain he must have been through. Also, Marine doesn't blame Flora for not passing on her message; she blames herself for not insisting that she speak with Conrad. I totally blame Flora. She's trying to get Marine and Eva out of the house for Helena the Hunter, so she didn't forget. It was definitely on purpose.

So, remember how I was counting up Conrad's abusive behaviors? He seriously steps over the line on this one: “I don't want you on the road the holiday season. The roads are crowded with drunks this time of year. If you must go somewhere then I will drive you.” Oh. Hell. No. What, are there constantly drunk people driving on these roads all day for several weeks? This one is devious because it almost seems like genuine concern. Really, it's a power play. There's nowhere Marine can walk to from Conrad's house. If she wants to get away, it'll pretty much have to be by car. Now Conrad is taking that away from her. Incredibly not okay. The scene continues...

Marine tells Conrad that she can drive herself, thanks. She's never been in an accident. Conrad basically tells her that means nothing and says that he's just thinking of his grandma's safety. Yeah right. Oh, and furthermore that she not go on the roads until after the new year. Marine tells him point blank that he's being unreasonable. She goes through a defensive driving course each year, for some reason, so she's probably a better driver than he is. Then she takes a dig at how Conrad was speeding so heavily earlier that day. Then Eva loses just about all the respect I had for her: “Eva tugged at her arm. 'Conrad's right, Marine,' she said. 'The roads are dangerous this time of year. It's best not to be on them unless it's an emergency.'” Ugh. She had no problem going out to get her hair done and staying at dinner, but now that there's a conflict, Eva can't stand up for herself or Marine. She was doing so well, too! Also, it really rankles that she says they shouldn't drive unless it's an emergency, but the offer is that Conrad will drive them whenever they want. Eva is saying that she thinks even less of Marine's driving than Conrad did.

Oh, and then Conrad says that Marine should emulate Eva's common sense. No wonder Eva has so little self-esteem. Every time her interests collide with her grandson's, she folds and he praises her for it. He, Flora, and Annie are about her only interactions, so with such conditioning it's a wonder she voices opinions that might be contrary at all. For example, what she was saying about Helena the Hunter earlier this very day.

Anyhow, Conrad tells Marine not to argue with him. He wants something and it's going to be that way, and that's final. Marine, do us all a favor, slap him, pack your things, and leave. Please? Oh, take Eva with you if she's willing. Marine's way of thinking about this gives me a bit of hope for her, because she, “wasn't about to give up her freedom so easily. Nor was she about to allow this overbearing, arrogant brute of a man to dictate to her.” Damn right. That's the other thing. Being able to drive isn't just about a way out, it's also day to day freedom. That's why this is such an awful thing. Then Marine gives Conrad an ultimatum, which might not have been the smartest thing. She tells him that unless he takes her keys away, he's not going to stop her from driving.

Then we have a whole exchange about how her keys are in her purse, not her car, and Conrad tells her to give him her keys. Her response? “'Don't be ridiculous,' she snapped. 'You have no business demanding my keys.'” So very, very true. Conrad tells her that she can give him the keys, or he'll take them from her. Marine takes a glance at Eva. She's liking this argument. Marine is puzzled because most of the reason she wants to keep her mobility is to get Eva out and interacting with folks. I think it's because no one really stands up to Conrad and she likes that Marine will. Well, to a point. Marine offers a compromise that she won't drive unless she tells him first. Conrad won't budge. He demands her keys again. Very angry, she finally gives in. I would never have handed over those keys. He would have had to fight me for them, and when abuse becomes physical, it's easier to show the signs to the police that you call soon afterwards. Of course, this is all assuming that Conrad doesn't break you too badly and/or keep you away from a phone. This is scary stuff and there is no easy answer, but in this particular instance, I think Marine should have said no and walked away. I don't think Conrad would have actually attacked her and she could have barricaded herself in her room, or in a first story room, slipped out the window, and driven away, hopefully before Conrad realized what was going on.

Then Conrad gives Marine back her purses, wishes them goodnight, and looks triumphant. Bastard.

So, signs of abuse in this chapter: 1) controlling behavior. Here's a direct quote from the website I'm using for this, “As this behavior progresses the situation will worsen, and the abuser may assume all control of finances or prevent the victim from coming and going freely.” Well that one certainly escalated. I wonder if Conrad will let Marine leave when the summer is over, or if she'll have to escape. 2) Isolation. Conrad taking Marine's keys also isolates her from friends and family pretty completely. As the website says, “The abuser may block the victim's access to use of a vehicle, work, or telephone service in the home.” Well, that certainly came true too. Do you see why I was so very pissed off about this? It's a huge deal and it's incredibly not okay. I was kind of kidding earlier when I said that Marine needed to get out, but now I'm serious. This is not a good situation, and Marine needs to get herself and Eva out. Eva's position is not a poisonous, but it is still not at all healthy and neither of them can stay in this house.

All right. My predictions for the next chapter: Marine will call the cops on Conrad and they will dismiss her concerns about him being abusive because she's just a woman and he's a very powerful man. Wait, that one seems a little too much unlike fiction. Let's go with this: Marine's parents continue their battle against the dark forces that want to control the earth, but they realize that they will need some help. It is time for them to find their master. She would be an old woman by now, but they know she would still have her skill and at the very least be able to give them advice to help them defeat their foe. So it is that they board an airplane back to Australia to see Eva Wright and beg for her help. You thought I couldn't connect those two alternate plot lines, didn't you?

Oh, for the curious or concerned, here's the website I've been using to list abusive behaviors: http://www.newhopeforwomen.org/abuser-tricks They have a toll-free 24 hour crisis hotline number as well 1-800-522-3304, although they recommend 911 if you're in immediate danger, which, if you're reading my blog I really hope you aren't. But also just in general. This stuff is all things you hope you never need, but someday you might.

A Matter of Marine-Chapter Six: Date with a Psychopath

I guess Conrad isn't, strictly speaking, a psychopath but still...

The chapter opens with Marine making some breakfast in the kitchen. Toast, in fact. Then Conrad walks into the kitchen, looking like he hasn't slept and just generally awful. I bet I know what kept him up all night... Stock reports. Obviously.

Marine offers him the toast and offers to make him bacon and eggs as well. Wow, she's making him breakfast the morning after a make out session. I wonder what she'll do when they finally have sex. Anyway, when she's grabbing a pan, Conrad grabs her wrist and tells her that they need to talk. Keep that pan in your hand, Marine, and maybe back up a few steps. Conrad talks about how last night shouldn't have happened and how it won't happen again. Marine is crushed at this reaffirmation that it meant nothing to him. (Side note, the author keeps referring to it as lovemaking. I guess that meant something different in the 80's, but it's still throwing me off.) Marine tries to play it cool, and tells Conrad that she'd already forgotten, hadn't fallen in love with him over “a few silly kisses” and, furthermore, that men have such giant egos that they'll believe stuff like this. Laying it on a little thick there, aren't ya? Oh, she's also blinking back tears as she's saying this. Because nothing says romance novel like denying your feelings....this is actually true.

Conrad is mad that Marine doesn't care about their make out in the sand. He says he thought he was saving her virtue, but apparently she just saved him from making an even bigger fool of himself. All right, I know I say this every chapter, but seriously. Why doesn't he just dump Helena the Hunter and tell Marine what he's feeling? It's obviously a big deal and not going away, especially since they're under the same roof. Oh, right, I forgot. Denying your feelings. And anyway, men only get rage and lust so right now Conrad is probably enjoying having the full spectrum of his emotions.

So, they're both mad and Marine says something about how she's very aware of what her “position” there is. She refuses to elaborate when Conrad asks. I know this is the whole “cook” thing coming back, but she really could have said that without giving anything away about how very much he means to her. It just hurts her too much. Sigh. Well, Conrad has maneuvered himself right in front of her again. He demands an answer to his question and Marine says, “I am an employee of yours and I'm willing to accept any rules laid down by you.” Really? New rule: no shirts allowed! I mean, Conrad won't really say that, but I bet he's thinking along those lines. Oh, Marine also refers to the greatest night of her life as “fun and games on the beach.” Harsh, Marine. Harsh. Anyway, Conrad is mad at her, and then sits down, expecting breakfast.

Well now Marine doesn't want to make it for him. Jerk. Oh, we also get the information that it's 6 AM and therefore Flora and Annie won't come into the kitchen for another half hour at least. Plenty of time to get down to business, then. By which I obviously mean cooking breakfast. And nothing else that the two of them could do alone. Nope, just a nice, clean breakfast scene in this chapter. Well, and some other similarly clean activities in other places later.

After giving Conrad the bacon and eggs, Marine takes a bite of the toast she's initially offered Conrad and realizes that it's awful. The book doesn't say why, so I'm not sure if she burned it or if her taste buds are reflecting her emotional state. Probably both. So, the two of them have a casual conversation about how little Marine eats, which gives her that oh-so-skinny figure, and then about the tree she's got to get that day. Conrad says he'll go get the tree with her. I would say that he offered to, but it's really not something he lets her turn down. She tries. I mean, first she looks super happy that he's going, so that doesn't really work, but ya know...

Then Conrad puts his hand under her face and starts rubbing his thumb on her cheek. He says they can go to Manly to get a tree. Then, apropos of nothing, he tilts her head up, leans his head down and kisses her. Hey, I thought you weren't doing that any more. Liar. He taunts Marine because she didn't want the kiss to end about how it was just “another silly kiss” to add to her stockpile. Oh, at this point he's got both hands behind her, holding her in place. I worry for Marine, I really do.

Although, at this particular point, she seems to like it. Kind of. The book says that, “Her body betrayed her,” which is kind of uncomfortable to consider deeply. Consent gets very complicated if you're fighting yourself about it and the other person is willing to go farther than you and will push you. I'm just glad that, so far, we don't have any scenes like we did in the last book I reviewed.

Anyway, Marine kisses Conrad back, lightly. Conrad teasingly tells her that she can do better. This next sentence really worries me: “Sanity returned to her and with it a wild hatred for what he was doing to her.” Marine, you really need to get away from him and sort your shit out. He needs to sort his shit out as well. Anyway, Marine rationalizes Conrad's behavior as punishing her for calling their make out silly. What was that I was saying about abusive behaviors earlier? Well, turns out it's kind of mutual. Marine's response to this emotional turmoil is to pull Conrad's hair. Really hard. He gets scarily pissed, forces her head back, and kisses her hard enough that she bleeds.

Woah now buddy. Take a step back. Alright, maybe ten. Breathe. Dump Helena the Hunter. Go talk to Marine in a calm, honest, and open manner. Then your problems will be much less. Sorry, I forgot. We can't be reasonable. We're just barely over halfway through the book.

Marine is shaken and steadies herself on a chair. She waits for an apology, but doesn't get one. So she says, “You hurt me.” His reply? “You deserved it.” Run. Run away, Marine and never return. Marine smooths down her shirt with shaky hands and reminds him that he'd said he wouldn't step out of line like that again. Conrad replies that he did, indeed, step out of line last night, but this morning she got what she deserved. Marine, are you not seeing any of these red flags? There are many of them. Many. Oh, and Conrad still wants to go get the tree with her. After assaulting her.

Conrad rinses his dishes, which gives Marine a little time to pull herself together. I'd need some time too, to figure out how not to enclose myself in a car with a violent man. Marine does her best, too. She really tries to go without Conrad, but, short of locking herself in a room and not leaving, Conrad isn't going to let any of her arguments stand. Her only vocalized one is that she's worried about leaving Eva. I would be too: no one else in that house actually cares for her. Oh, the hinge of Conrad's argument is that the tree won't fit in her car but it will fit in his. She could always tie it to the roof. Probably. Anyway, Marine reluctantly gets in Conrad's car with him and they begin the drive to Manly. Oh, and this sentence is just perfect: “He had bullied her into leaving before she was ready, just like he had bullied her about everything else.” Marine. Get. Out.

Oh, but it's okay because the day is so nice, that Marine can't stay mad or anxious. So, she's not as mad as she seemed? She's falling into the victim mindset? Stockholm syndrome? Anyway, once they get to Manly there's some description of all the activity at the beach and how awesome the ocean looks. My comfort from this is that she's not as alone with Conrad any more, but it's meant to give the reader something else to think about. Oh, also, Marine is glad that he made her go. But just this once. Probably.

They eventually pull up at a greengrocers. Conrad knows the owner super well and they go to look at his trees. Marine doesn't like any of them, so Conrad picks one out jubilantly. He tries to pay, but the greengrocer won't let him. Wow. They must be close. Weird that Conrad can make friends. I guess he only treats Marine that terribly. She should feel special. Or something.

Then they go to a butcher's to get the turkeys and a leg of ham. He's also super good friends with the butcher. Oh, and the owner of the tea shop they stop at for a bite. He must have grown up here or spent time here when he was younger. Possibly the weight of the business is contributing to what makes Conrad such a dick. Still, just because you have one doesn't mean you need to be one.

Oh, important character things from this bit: Conrad is super duper excited about the tree and turkey and everything. Marine can make gravy without lumps. This is important because it leads Conrad to say, jokingly, “I can't believe it. Beauty, brains and gravy without lumps! It's truly a miracle some man hasn't grabbed you and married you!” Who said anything about marriage? He could have made the joke just as well talking about her dating life. He's in deep, isn't he? Oh, also, more sexual tension. But then, you knew that would happen.

At the tea shop, they have a totally normal, happy, and relaxing time eating scones and drinking tea. So, this is the double nature that's a signal of an abuser. Just putting that out there. I know we're supposed to read it as Conrad getting away from his life, but if it's so awful, there are things he can do to make it less so. I suppose that means he has to realize the terrible pressure he's under, but you'd hope that he could figure that out, especially with how different he is from Manly to his house.

When they're leaving, Conrad hugs her, teasing her. Marine is able to fight him off and doesn't have a battle with herself. Huh. She's more comfortable with herself here too. Well, the house is haunted. Better burn it down and move to Manly. Don't take the servants or Helena the Hunter with you.

On the way back, Conrad's impatience returns. He starts driving really fast. Fast enough to scare Marine. Also, the reason he gives is because he needs to shave and light the grill to start making steaks, which Helena the Hunter thought would be a good idea. Marine is depressed that he's hurrying to get back to cater to Helena the Hunter's whims. He keeps saying he's having friends over for Christmas, but I believe him less and less. He's a powerful man. His Christmas party must be a major networking and social event. I'm doubting that many of these people are actually his friends. Wow. I hope Conrad has some friends. Of course, if he doesn't that could explain part of why he's got such a difficult time having any kind of intimacy.

Anyway, enough with the psychoanalysis. After Marine tells him that he's driving too fast, he slows down and asks if he scared her. Look at that! He can be considerate! Marine tries to pass her fear off with a remark about the birds being worried about something new joining them, but it falls flat. Conrad seems super worried for someone who's going to hang out with his friends. Maybe he's finally considering dumping Helena the Hunter! A girl can dream, anyway.

Oh, just before they get back we get a confrontation about Eva with regards to Helena the Hunter, Flora, and Annie. Conrad talked with Helena the Hunter who, of course, said that everything was fine and that Marine was out of her gourd thinking that there was a problem. And I guess Conrad trusts her enough to tell him the truth, which we've seen to be a grave mistake.

Oh, when they do get home just after their argument about how Eva wasn't safe in her own home, we see Annie delivering juice to Eva and Helena the Hunter, who had just been reading some of Eva's favorite poetry to her, to Eva's evident enjoyment. Now that Conrad has told her there's a problem, Helena the Hunter has to actually work to cover it up.

Abusive behaviors: 1) any force during an argument when Conrad kissed Marine so hard that she bled. How did he even do that? Goodness. 2) Controlling behavior when Marine very much did not want to go with Conrad to get the tree and he made her go. She did end up enjoying it, but his need for control is very worrisome all the same. 3) Dual Personality “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” when Conrad became a completely different person once they reached Manly and changed back when they were returning home.

For the next chapter, I predict that the focus shifts. Now Eva is our heroine finding the self-worth that she used to have, and learning not to take shit from the other people in the house. As a minor side line, she makes bets with herself about when Marine and Conrad will finally admit their feelings for one another. Oh, and also, in finding her self-worth, Eva also begins practicing her knife routines again. In her day, it wasn't proper for a lady to be so skilled with knives, but it's something she loves to do and now she knows that she should go after what makes her happy. This skill comes in handy when the spirit possessing the house turns violent when they try to burn it down....

Also, I know I mentioned this earlier in this chapter, but it really is weird to me: romance novels aren't about people being in love; they're about people doing everything they can to avoid it and finally realizing that they can't. When they're actually in love and at a point where they would be romantic toward each other, the novel ends. I guess you need a conflict (of some sort) for there to be a story, but still...

A Matter of Marine-Chapter Five: Where It Becomes a Romance Novel

Sorry about the missed week, readers. Life started happening rather quickly and unexpectedly. Hopefully, I can keep on track with my weekly Friday updates now.

The chapter opens with Marine and Eva walking into the dining room where Conrad and Helena the Hunter are already standing. They've got drinks, but no one offers some to Marine or Eva. Rude. Anyway, there's some description of how everyone looks, Conrad is handsome-r than before, Helena the Hunter is gorgeous in a shiny gold dress, and Marine feels inadequate, then chides herself for thinking that she's in the running to get Conrad. I guess she doesn't know she's the main character of this novel. Eva's hair looks awesome, and Conrad notices. Whoo! I guess he gives half a damn about her.

Anyway, they start dinner. Marine is watching Helena the Hunter and Flora to see if they act familiar with each other; they do not. Conrad is watching Marine, which takes her a moment to realize and when she does, she thinks its because he thinks she is envious of Helena the Hunter. I have no idea what he's really thinking, but I don't think this book is complicated enough to have an unreliable narrator like that. So, Marine stares into her soup to try to brush off the embarrassment and a bit later, she notices that all conversation has stopped.

Oh. They're finally talking about Eva and Marine going to Marine's aunt for Christmas. Apparently, it's a Wright tradition to stay at home for Christmas. Although, as Eva points out, this hasn't been the case recently. Conrad angrily demands that they restart it. Awkward silence. What a control freak. I know it's because he can't bear to be apart from Marine for even that long, or some other excuse, but seriously. Way to make your grandma sad and kill the mood at the table.

Marine feels that Conrad thinks she's responsible. Also, she feels responsible, so she starts talking about how great Christmas is and asks what the Wrights do for trees and roasting a turkey and whatnot. Marine goes on for a bit before anyone says anything. Helena the Hunter votes to try to get Marine, and incidentally Eva, out of the house to avoid having to chase down Christmas trees and turkeys and such. Eva says, clearly unsatisfied, that they have BBQs now instead of a turkey. Helena the Hunter snaps back that it's more sensible because roasting a turkey for hours heats up the whole house.

Then Conrad verbally bitch-slaps everyone. Here, I'll give you the quote: “'Enough!' Conrad's voice seemed to boom around the table, even though he had spoken in a deathly quiet tone.” Marine apologizes, saying that she didn't mean to upset anyone. Helena the Hunter takes the opportunity to run around the table and offer comfort to Eva, who is now crying. Of course she blames it on Marine. Helena the Hunter tries to maneuver to get Marine fired, but Conrad doesn't take the bait. It's because he wants to bang her and if he fires her, she'll be too far away. I mean, yes she does a good job with actually caring for and about Eva, but let's be real.

Conrad finally says that he likes the idea of a tree and turkey and such and asks Marine to take care of the details. Marine replies that she'd be happy to and that she and Eva will have a lovely time picking out things and... Oh, Helena the Hunter, you're still trying to start something? She goes off her nut about Marine calling Mrs. Wright by her first name. Conrad replies that he likes it and that if Eva wants Marine to do so, he's not going to stop her.

Finally, during dessert, Helena the Hunter offers to take care of the details about Christmas. After all, Marine will want to spend Christmas with her family. Conrad agrees, but Marine feels like he wants her to stay. Therefore, Marine replies that her parents are on safari in Africa (Oh yeah. I forgot about them.) and that her aunt wasn't truly expecting her anyway. It's the truth, but of course she wants to be close to Conrad because she wants to bang him. Or, kiss him a lot, anyway.

Then Conrad passes the buck of Christmas stuff back to Marine and that Helena the Hunter will be too busy with their guests. Helena the Hunter replies that she was only trying to help Marine. Yeah, right. Marine manages to, somewhat genuinely, tell Helena the Hunter that she'll be fine and to enjoy her guests. This pisses Helena the Hunter off to no end. Good. She manages a barb about how the guests will be for her and Conrad. Because they're a couple, you see. I truly don't understand why they're dating. Honestly. Well, I know Helena the Hunter is in it for the money, and I guess Conrad is in it for her looks, and possibly the sex, but they've both such unpleasant people.

Conrad, conveniently expecting an important phone call that'll take all night, takes that moment to leave the room. Once he's gone, Helena the Hunter replies that this leaves her with nothing to do for the rest of the night. Seriously? You didn't bring a book, or...something to do? Then she snaps at Eva that she should have stayed put in her room for meals. Eva explains that Marine thought she was spending too much time alone, and Helena the Hunter replies that Marine just wants to be able to share a dinner table with Conrad to make goo-goo eyes at him. I wish she'd phrased it that way, but my way is better. Then Helena the Hunter continues to talk smack by telling Marine, “But I think Conrad has shown you just what he thinks of you. He sees you as a maid...a cook!” Well, that was kind of the job description. Helena the Hunter further rubs it in by telling Marine that she and Conrad will be flouncing around the pool with their guests while Marine works in the kitchen. Then she slaps them once more verbally and announces that she's going to her room to do her hair and nails. Why do your hair at this time of night? You'll just have to redo it in the morning. Unless...Helena the Hunter never sleeps. Perhaps, she's a vampire. One that can walk in daylight. And has no fangs. No, wait. That'd be too ridiculous to put in print. Never mind.

Once Helena the Hunter leaves the room, Marine asks Eva if the gold digger is always that rude. Eva replies that she's gotten used to her, but she seems a bit more angry this time. Possibly she's upset that Marine is there. Gee, I wonder why. Helena the Hunter can tell her meal ticket is running out. This whole plot just really reminds me of the Sound of Music, but with an old lady instead of kids. And no singing.

Next we get a long dramatic scene with Marine standing in her bedroom in just a thin nighty, looking out at the waves, trying to forget what Helena the Hunter said to her, and doing it all in very purple prose: “Across the sweeping lawns flooded in moonlight she could see the silvery stretch of beach flanked on one side with gracefully swaying palms and on the other by the whispering foaming surge of the sea. She placed her hands on the railing and leaned forward, hoping that the thrusting sounds of the waves would drown out Helena [the Hunter]'s hateful words. But the waves only seemed to pound them further into her brain...” So, we all know what's coming next, right? I was expecting it to happen in Marine's room, but she runs to the beach first. Oh, but my favorite purple prose quote from this section: “Her head was tilted back and her large blue eyes gazed up at the sparkling diamonds splattered in organized fashion across the velvet blackness of the clear, coastal sky.” Also, it bothers me how the author (Rosemary Badger, by the way) refers to Marine's eyes as both violet and blue.

Anyway, Marine is restless and runs down to the beach to lose her stress. Oh, hello, Conrad. What are you doing here? Wearing tiny sleeping shorts and an open robe, I see. Good attire for the beach. They talk a little, but the words don't matter. Conrad puts his hands on her face, slides them down to her neck, and onto her shoulders. He draws her into the “hard, lean length of his body”. Those words are doing double duty, just so we're all aware. So, he crushes her to him and his mouth apparently bruises her with his kisses. She seems to be okay with this, so I suppose that force is fine. Oh, also? Rosemary Badger uses the word “potent male virility”. Oh my. Anyway, he kisses her neck and such, she's totally digging it. He slips her nighty straps down and uncovers her boobs. Then suddenly they're lying down and Conrad's playing with her nipple. I guess in the 80's, you couldn't print the word “nipple” because it's not in this book. Either that, or Ms. Badger liked being poetic about nipples.

Anyway, his mouth is on her boob and his hand is sliding up her leg. Marine is digging this in general, but we get the info that she's saving herself for marriage. I guess she didn't let any of her boyfriends touch her crotch at all, or something. So, she's got a problem with this. She starts trying to fight “against the magic of his touch”. Conrad tells her not to fight him and this causes her to tell him to stop. Good idea, Marine. Also, thankfully, it works. He does stop. Good. He tears himself away from her and looks away. Marine doesn't move. She realizes that she's lying on Conrad's robe. Eventually, he looks back at her and covers her boobs and lowers the skirt of her nightie. Interesting that she didn't cover herself up...

Marine sits up and pulls her knees up to her chest, pulling her nightie over her legs. Eventually, Conrad asks her why she really came down to the beach. No, she wasn't trying to dare you into making love at midnight in the dunes of the cape. [Write to me and escape...] She really couldn't sleep. Then they stare at each other's faces really intently and Marine thinks about how she wants to trace Conrad's features. Conrad asks if she were really worried about the Christmas dinner. Marine smiles at herself, then remembers Helena the Hunter. Oh yeah, that person who's, as far as I know, in a monogamous relationship with Conrad. Or, she seems to think so, anyway.

So, Marine remembers Helena the Hunter taunting her by saying that Conrad only thought of our protagonist as a maid and cook. I think he added onto your job description just now. Well, he tried to, anyway. Then Marine starts crying. What they just did was a beautiful thing to her, but she thinks that Conrad will see it as a “cheap fling in the sand”. Conrad jumps up and wraps his robe around her shoulders. She's glad to have the protection from his gaze. He tells her not to worry, that Flora and Annie will have to deal with the dinner. Marine tries to look comforted. Although, we get the dilemma of just about every romance novel summed up at the end of this chapter: “She had fallen hopelessly in love with a man she knew she could never have.”

All right, for abusive behaviors in this chapter we have.... 1) Hypersensitivity when Conrad took it so very seriously that Eva and Marine might leave for a few hours on Christmas 2) Quick involvement they've only kissed once and now Conrad wants to have sex? Or possibly finger her. It's hard to tell. However, on the flip side, when she said no, he stopped. That is very good and possibly balances this one out. Not too many in this chapter because we were mostly focused on how Helena the Hunter is a bitch.

For the next chapter, I predict... the focus will shift just a bit. Marine's parents, in Africa, have stumbled upon something far bigger than they expected to find on vacation, with deadly force protecting it. It will take all of their knowledge of swordplay to unravel this mystery, unfortunately, they both swore oaths never to take up a sword again after the birth of their child. Now they must decide between their honor and stopping a dangerous villain from unleashing a force capable of destroying the cosmos.

I'm really just done with these people.

A Matter of Marine-Chapter Four: Conrad Loses His Shit

Conrad derails Marine's plan of taking Mrs. Wright to Manly to go shopping by offering to drive them both there. Marine argues that they don't know when they'll be done shopping, and Conrad says he'll wait in the car for them if he has to. Mrs. Wright suggests that they go shopping in Sydney, which is where Conrad is going. Helena the Hunter clearly doesn't want Marine to agree to this, but Marine agrees. So, Helena the Hunter runs off to get ready since she's just now decided that she's going. She doesn't want to leave Marine alone with Conrad...and his grandmother. Le sigh.

Anyway, Marine and Mrs. Wright get settled in the back of the car and eventually Helena the Hunter and Conrad walk into the garage. Conrad, ever the gentleman, opens Helena the Hunter's door for her, and then sits in the driver's seat. So, no one talks for a bit, until Helena the Hunter starts word vomiting all over the car. I don't know what she's talking about, because Marine doesn't pay attention to it, but it scarcely matters. It's not even a conversation; it's just Helena the Hunter babbling out a monologue.

While they're driving, Marine worries over what she overheard in the kitchen, and comes to some of the same conclusions I did. Then she sees Conrad watching her in the rear view mirror. He raises his eyebrows to question why she was frowning. Marine blushes and firmly looks out the window for the rest of the drive. Finally, they get to Conrad's office and he parks his car. Marine wonders what Helena the Hunter will do while Conrad's working and she and Mrs. Wright are shopping. Really? As soon as Helena the Hunter invited herself along, I figured she'd be shopping with them. Hooray.

So, they decide that one o'clock will be plenty of time for them all to meet back at the car and Marine and Mrs. Wright start walking away. Conrad asks Marine why she doesn't invite Helena the Hunter along. Helena the Hunter simpers and says that, really, if they don't want her, it's fine. She'll just go shopping on her own. Sniffle sniffle. So, of course, Marine has to invite Helena the Hunter along with them. Now Conrad is pacified. He smiles at Helena the Hunter and reminds her not to spend too much money. She'd told him she was saving up. Helena the Hunter pouts, says she'll remember, and then complains that it's hard to watch her spending when others have money to burn, and she looks at Marine and Mrs. Wright. All right, jerkface, Marine does not have money to burn, and Mrs. Wright is probably more financially responsible than you. Also, does it really matter if you're hanging with people who buy things if you're just window shopping? Neither Marine nor Mrs. Wright would be mean about that, but Helena the Hunter isn't genuinely upset, anyway, so whatever. Her manipulation works, and Conrad gives her fat stacks to spend. Oh, her response is awful, “'Oh Conrad!' she squealed delightedly, 'I didn't mean for you to give me money. I have ten dollars and...'” He cuts her off to say it's an early Christmas present. Ten dollars? She's got more than that. Also, I ain't sayin' she a gold digger....

Also, we get the benefit of Marine's practiced eye telling us that Helena the Hunter's shoes and purse would cost a small fortune each, and her clothes are also really pricey. Clearly, she's not hurting for cash. Anyway, Conrad offers his grandmother some money, which she politely declines. Marine is thinking that Conrad is being dumb with his relationship with Helena the Hunter. Then he turns to Marine. She gives off the attitude that no way will she take spending money from him. He quietly asks her to make sure his grandmother pays for everything. Then they do one of those things where Marine reacts to Conrad reacting to what she was thinking, leaving her embarrassed. But, while Marine is defiantly staring into Conrad's eyes, everyone and everything else drops away and she almost drowns in his eyes until Helena the Hunter snaps out something. She physically separates Marine and Conrad, while angrily reminding Marine that she wanted to go shopping and Conrad has work to do. Oh. Right.

Conrad wanders away and the knives come out. Only metaphorically, unfortunately. Helena the Hunter is mad that Marine is flirting with Conrad. Marine replies by saying that Helena the Hunter has dollar signs over her eyes. Then Marine repents her actions, gets Mrs. Wright a bit more settled, and politely asks Helena the Hunter what kind of shopping she would like to do. Helena the Hunter snaps out that she's not going shopping with them, especially not Mrs. Wright, the slow old biddy. Thank goodness Mrs. Wright's attention is distracted by a fallen hair clip. She's the one character with redeeming qualities in this novel. Well, Marine is okay when her interactions don't involve Conrad.

Anyway, Helena the Hunter stalks off, and at her pace there's no way they can catch her. Marine decides that it's more important that she look after Mrs. Wright anyway and they go on their merry way. The important thing is that Mrs. Wright finally gets to go to a hair salon. She hasn't been in months and she used to go weekly. After her appointment, her hair is all kinds of pretty. Marine compliments her, and, glowing, Mrs. Wright tells Marine that she can call her Eva. I was wondering if I'd have to refer to her as Mrs. Wright for the whole book. Marine says it would be nice for Eva to be able to have her hair done once a week like she used to. There's a hair salon closer to her place, and Marine has a car so they can make this happen.

Then they swing by Marine's aunt's shop, where Eva gets more compliments. Marine impulsively kisses Eva's cheek, and she starts tearing up with happiness. Good. She should be feeling happy. She's a sweet lady with, I hope, a hitherto untold mastery of some sort of martial art. Anyway, Eva and Marine stay for tea and cakes. Marine's aunt asks her niece how things are really going. Marine decides not to let on about the bit of conversation she heard and instead replies that they're better than they were. Which is mostly true. Oh, some backstory that Marine learned: Conrad's dad was Eva's only child. His wife died after giving birth to Conrad, which turned Dad to drinking and gambling and the company suffered. That's probably why Conrad is working so hard to make it better.

Then Marine's aunt asks if they can come to Christmas dinner. Eva is delighted by the invitation, but a little unsure about adding two more for a meal. Marine tells her aunt that if they can, they'd be delighted to make it. After this, Eva is chatting with Marine's cousins and Marine buys her Christmas presents for people. She tells her aunt that she hadn't told Eva about that possibility, but it's good for Eva to hear the invitation because, even if they can't make it, she'll know she was invited. What a great day. Well, let's head back to the car for a nice drive back up the coast and... Oh, hello Helena the Hunter. Why are you crying? Sigh. Damn it. Conrad thinks it's Marine's fault.

After the awkward car ride home, Helena the Hunter runs inside and Mrs. Wright, wanting to avoid her grandson's mood, doesn't tarry either. Conrad tells Marine that he wants to see her in his study. Marine replies that she thought he might and that she'll be there in half an hour. He grabs her wrist, painfully so, and demands that she go there right that instant. Marine replies with “A half hour!” Conrad's not used to being told no. Eventually, he lets go of his death grip on her wrist, and she explains that she wants to get Eva settled down for a nap, and then she'll meet with him. Stop trying to prevent her from doing her job, Conrad. He's super mad and sticks his hands in his pockets. As he fumes, Marine reflects that she's very glad his hands are in his pockets. Don't worry, I'll do a tally of his abusive behavior at the end of the chapter. Anyway, then they get stuck staring at each other again. Conrad is still pissed, but I guess he doesn't look away while Marine is getting all moony over him. Finally, Conrad agrees that he'll see her in his study in half an hour.

Eva is already in her bed, so she doesn't take long to get to sleep. Then Marine takes a bath and puts on a halter dress. Then she tries to make herself calm down and heads to Conrad's study. She opens the door and checks him out for a bit, although the reminder of his strength is kind of disturbing in this context. He's facing the window, so she hurries into a chair. He turns around and she sees that he's not mad. Marine is relieved and starts smiling, which makes Conrad mad all over again. ...okay. He's holding a slide rule in his hands, and he breaks it, scaring Marine. He smiles at her fear and throws the pieces away one by one. Why is she in love with him again?

She's sitting in a chair. He walks to the front of his desk and leans against it, his feet almost touching hers. Can we talk about the imbalance of power just in their positioning? Conrad is higher than Marine and can move more easily. This is not a good sign. Conrad tells us Helena the Hunter's side of the story, which is true, but not the whole truth. He accuses Marine of making at dig at Helena the Hunter for accepting that money from Conrad. Conrad asks Marine if she's going to deny saying that. Marine replies that she did indeed say that, and that she's not going to elaborate. I mean, I guess it's good not to get whiny about this, but still, this way Marine's remark seems unprovoked. Oh, and then this happens. “She didn't see him move. There was more of an impression of something blurring in front of her before she was lifted from her chair...he snarled, his fingers digging into the soft, bare flesh of her arms.” Seriously? This girl has got to be covered in bruises. Also, a super terrible way to treat your employees. It's law suit worthy.

Oh, Conrad also accuses Marine of making a rift between Helena the Hunter and Eva. Conrad's grip loosens and Marine twists out of his grip. She puts the chair she'd been sitting in between them. Her first good move in this encounter. I wouldn't have sat down. Marine tells Conrad that there was already a rift between Helena the Hunter and Eva, and also that Helena the Hunter didn't plan on going shopping with them anyway. Then the phone rings.

Conrad takes the call, and it's work related. He's trying to open a cylinder, so Marine helps him get the blueprint out. She holds it open while he makes calculations on it. Even after the phone call, he's still writing things on the blueprint. At one point, he looks up and seems surprised to see her there. He apologizes for ignoring her, but tells her it wasn't rude because there's a problem with his work site. Hm. Maybe. Anyway, she asks if she can help, and he replies that she can stop stirring up trouble. Marine doesn't rise to the bait, this time. On her way out, she tells Conrad that Eva had just gotten her hair done and she was sad Conrad didn't notice, so he should say something about it at dinner. Conrad asks what she said, and Marine tells him it was nothing. Then she wonders why she wants to annoy him when before she wanted to help him.

Oi vey. So, let's count up abusive behaviors. 1) Controlling behavior. Conrad didn't let Marine drive herself and Eva shopping. He insisted on driving them. This one could be argued, but with his other actions, I'm going to count it. Oh, this can also be counted as Isolation. 3) Hypersensitivity. If Helena the Hunter and truly been hurt and crying the whole way home, then yes you need to talk to Marine about it, but not the way he did. 4) Breaking or striking objects. When Conrad did confront Marine in his study, one of the first things he did was break something. 5) Any force during an argument. He picked her up and shook her. Need more be said? Oh, also the instance where he grips her wrist way too hard when they first get home from Sydney. So, Marine needs to get out. And possibly get Eva out as well.

My prediction for future chapters: Eva will finally grow tired of Helena the Hunter's manipulative ways and challenge her to a duel. Helena the Hunter will think this won't be hard, and she'll try to weasel her way out of it once they're actually fighting and she sees Eva's skill. Conrad will walk in on Eva holding Helena the Hunter at knife point, and misunderstand. He'll demand the truth, and Eva will demand it from Helena the Hunter as well. Then, finally, Marine will have the chance she needs to escape and make sure that Eva will be well cared for in her absence.

A Matter of Marine-Chapter Three: The Other Woman

This chapter picks up shortly after the other one left off. Marine and Mrs. Wright are wandering in the flower gardens just after breakfast. Mrs. Wright asks Marine not to be mad at her for lying because she doesn't want to be a burden to anyone. Marine assures Mrs. Wright that she's not a burden, but Mrs. Wright doesn't believe her. And why would she? She's had all this conditioning that she's a burden. It's going to take awhile for her to stop believing that, and Conrad will have to stop acting like she is. However unlikely that is. Mrs. Wright also tells Marine that it's okay for Flora and Annie to be there because Marine will be there now to help her. Marine realizes that Mrs. Wright is pretending that Marine is going to stay there forever, just like how she's pretending that Flora and Annie are good at their jobs. Then Marine starts wondering what it'd be like to stay there forever. But no, that's silly. She can't be doing that. No way. Sigh. Anyway...

While Mrs. Wright is taking a nap that afternoon, Marine calls her aunt to bring her up to speed and ask if her aunt can find anyone to take over for Marine once she leaves. The aunt promises to look into it and asks Marine about Christmas. Marine's not sure if she'll be able to go to her family's for Christmas, but thinks it might work if she can bring Mrs. Wright. This is, of course, fine with Marine's aunt. I guess shortly after this call Mrs. Wright wakes up and now they're going to wrap presents. All of the presents are expensive and awesome because Mrs. Wright bought them from Marine's aunt's store. There's a diamond pendant in particular that Mrs. Wright is worried about and debated about for awhile before buying. She asks Marine if it's good enough, and Marine assures her that it is. This pendant is for Helena Wilcox, you see.

Jump to the next evening when Marine meets Helena. Mrs. Wright is asleep and Marine is curled up in the sun room reading, what else, a romance novel. I wonder if the romance novel she was reading was one I've done on this blog, and if she gets as frustrated by the characters as I do. Who needs a fourth wall? Anyway, Helena is kind of predatory and scary without actually doing anything. Well, also, Conrad asks if she should be in bed since it's late, and Marine is dressed more like a teenager than the super-mature and adult 23 year old that she is. Yes, because all 23 year olds are super-mature and adult, especially Marine.

Anyway, Conrad introduces Marine and Helena and Helena is not the happy, squishy kind of personality you'd want to be unexpectedly sharing a room with. She's brittle and hard and...it's all in the way her eyes look and she carries herself, I guess. Well, that and she gets Conrad to kiss her primarily to unnerve Marine, I'm guessing. Conrad pours them all a drink, sherry for the ladies and scotch for himself. Marine gulps down her glass. She's feeling funny and dizzy. I'm pretty sure that's not the alcohol. Anyway, Marine puts her glass back on the liquor cabinet and escapes, saying it's time she went to bed. On her way up, she sees that Mrs. Wright is still awake. Mrs. Wright is flustered because Helena is in the house. I would be too. Marine sits with her until she falls asleep, then heads off to her room.

The next morning dawns bright and beautiful. Marine heads out the to beach, in a yellow bikini this time. The surf is too crazy at the beach right behind Conrad's house, so she wanders for a bit, looking for somewhere nice to swim. She finds a place with some chillaxed water, and swims for a bit. Then Conrad walks out on the beach and yells something to her. She waves, but she can't hear him. He yells something again, and then Marine is violently pulled under. She's caught in a strong rip tide and that's no good. I was kind of thinking it would be a shark or something, but this makes way more sense. Anyway, Marine tries to float on top of it so that hopefully she can ride a wave back to shore, but there's a nasty undertow that messes that plan up. Marine is under the water, unable to get her head above it. She doesn't see her life flash before her eyes, possibly because that would take the focus off of Conrad saving her.

So, now he's holding her above the water while she gasps and recovers her breath. She puts her head on his shoulder and he strokes her hair. Then he bends his head toward her and lightly brushes her lips with his. Hey! You've got a romantic commitment, dude. Back off, or break it off with Helena the Hunter. Anyway, Marine is totally okay with him kissing her, and she kind of wants to bang him, but then he flips her on her back and swims back to shore with her. Good thing that rip tide and undertow only showed up when they were necessary to make Marine a damsel in distress.

Back on land, Conrad is not so nice. In fact, he's super pissed. Apparently there was a sign warning about the rip tide. So, here's Conrad's reaction to Marine almost dying: screaming at her, taking her by the shoulders and shaking her, and pushing his point so far that she starts crying. Once she starts crying, he changes tactics, and holds her close and gets much nicer. So, I checked and he only fits four of the seventeen signs of an abusive partner (force during an argument, controlling behavior, dual personality “Dr. Jekyll Mr. Hyde”, and isolation). Still, I'm going to be on the lookout for this as this novel unfolds. This guy is not showing his tender feelings well.

So, Conrad wraps an arm around her and starts walking her back to the house. Marine likes the way she fits against him, then reminds herself that Conrad's involved with Helena, which makes her shiver. Sure, she remembers that now, not when he kissed her. Anyway, the shiver causes Conrad to pick her up and carry her. She doesn't want anyone from the house to see them, so she asks him to set her down, but he won't. He carries her to her bedroom and sets her down on her bed. I can tell this is a bit more held back in tone than the last novel I snarked, because they don't immediately have sex.

He smiles at her and Marine's various inner organs do acrobatics. Conrad tells her to stay put and that he'll run her a warm bath. After a bit, he comes back, picks her up, and carries her to the bathroom. Also, he used half of the bubble bath, instead of just a capful. His justification? “A devilish expression gleamed in his eyes. 'So I got carried away.'” Hmph. Flirty McFlirts-a-lot-after-screaming-a-lot. I mean, I suppose it's possible he's in an open relationship with Helena the Hunter, but I don't think that's likely. She seems to be pretty possessive of him. Anyway, then Conrad kisses Marine's nose. She wishes it had been her lips, and he can tell, which Marine sees he can tell and that puts her out of sorts again. Oh, that's when he sets her down. Goodness. I know she's short and tiny, but Conrad must be pretty strong to hold her up for so long. Anyway, now that she's standing on her own power, Conrad picks up some bubbles and puts them on top of her head. Marine reaches to grab more and throw them at Conrad, but he's already leaving the bathroom. She calls him a coward and he tells her to enjoy her bath before closing the bedroom door. I was wondering if he was going to let her bathe alone.

As Marine soaks in the bath all sorts of lovely thoughts about Conrad and how it felt when he was holding her fill her mind. But no. That's bad and wrong. Scrub the feelings away! She's reminding me a bit of Lady Macbeth here, but she apparently doesn't scrub her skin raw, so that's a plus. Anyway, then Marine gets out of the bath and gets dressed and such. Mrs. Wright is still in bed. She really doesn't want to go downstairs today. Eventually, Marine finds out it's because Helena the Hunter is there. Seems reasonable to me. Also, it sounds like Mrs. Wright has a very bad feeling about Helena the Hunter: “I know what you're thinking. You think I'm a foolish old woman! You think I don't like Helena because she wants to marry my grandson. You think I'm deliberately trying to make a nuisance of myself so that Conrad will worry and fuss over me. You think I'm trying to put a rift between him and Helena so that they will never marry!” Wow. More on who I think she had been talking to about in a bit.

Marine assures Mrs. Wright that she doesn't think any of those things at all. Marine decides that Mrs. Wright is in no state to eat in the dining room, so she'll bring up breakfast for them both, and they can get out of the house by going shopping today in Manly. Mrs. Wright's alternative had been to stay in her room until Helena left. Mrs. Wright agrees with Marine's plan. Marine gives the condition that they eat in the dining room with everyone else tomorrow, then she heads downstairs to get the two of them breakfast. On the way, she overhears Helena the Hunter talking with Flora. I'll give you the highlights: Flora used to work for Helena's mom, Flora is here for “a good cause”, and Helena wishes that Marine weren't there (probably in her function of looking after Mrs. Wright).

Well, I'm guessing that Mrs. Wright confided in Flora or Annie her misgivings about Helena the Hunter and whoever she talked to made her think that she was being a silly old woman about it, when she's probably very right. Anyway, Marine backs up so they won't know she was listening, makes a bit of noise, and enters the kitchen like she didn't just overhear them. She explains that she's grabbing a bit of breakfast for herself and Mrs. Wright and that they'll be gone all day. She pours two glasses of juice and grabs some bacon. When she's headed back up the hallway, Conrad leaves his study. He is, possibly, disappointed that she and Mrs. Wright won't be eating with them. Marine explains their plans again. Conrad asks if she should be shopping after what happened this morning. She doesn't look well. Marine lies and says that she's fine. There's a lot of that going around in this house. Oh, we also get the information that Conrad hired Flora and Annie simply because Helena the Hunter recommended them. Well, that explains a lot. I'm still not sure why he hasn't looked for some better housekeepers who will actually keep the house clean, though.

All right, my predictions for the next chapter: Mrs. Wright will find the perfect addition to her knife collection when they're out shopping. Mrs. Wright shows Marine how the weapon works with a quick run through against an imaginary opponent. The shopkeeper is so impressed, he gives Mrs. Wright a discount and manages to pass her a secret message. Marine finds a new bikini that's red and yellow. Also, their lunch is far better than what Flora and Annie cook.

Also, I'm a little worried that Flora and Annie are there to harm Mrs. Wright. Maybe they weren't supposed to kill her, just get her feeble enough so Conrad would put her in a home. Of course, I don't know why Helena the Hunter would think that Mrs. Wright could or would stop her from marrying Conrad and getting his money. Maybe there's something in Conrad's will about caring for his grandmother. Or something. I'm sure it will become clear, hidden between Conrad's and Marine's flirtations. Eventually.

A Matter of Marine-Chapter Two: Bamboozlers!

Conrad is mad that Marine has upset Annie and Flora. Marine is mad that Annie and Flora have done such a terrible job cleaning the house and taking care of Mrs. Wright. Conrad asks if Marine had to accuse Anna and Flora of neglecting Mrs. Wright and if she had to fumigate Mrs. Wright's room. Marine pauses before answering. She tells Conrad that he gave her a trial week, and that she'd like to stay for the summer. Right. Southern hemisphere. Christmas happens in the summer in Australia. How long of a break does her school take in the summer?

Conrad stops yelling for a moment and she can see how tired he is. She feels bad that there's no one there to take care of him or his grandmother. Yeah, she's already got it bad and she met this guy three days ago. Conrad tells her that he can't afford to keep her. He doesn't say, anything about being on the staff, just keeping her. I know it's a common expression, but let's be real. He wants her to take care of more than just his grandma.

Anyway, he can't employ someone who's gonna stir up the staff to such craziness. Marine suggests firing them again since they suck at their job. Conrad replies that he can't. He depends on them to be there and it's apparently either Flora and Annie or putting his grandma in a home. Marine asks when Conrad last looked at his grandmother's room. From there we go to the built in kitchen, to how Mrs. Wright is being made to feel like she's a burden. Conrad asks why she stirred up trouble. Marine tells him that trouble was already there. Then she sees the lines on tension on his face and she wants to smooth them away.

Marine collects herself and tells Conrad, apparently in a gentler voice, that Grandma needs to be mentally stimulated, looked after, and feel loved. They argue about Grandma's food. She gets one hot meal a day from Flora and Annie, but last night's chicken had gone bad and the veggies had been blackened. Marine sent it back and made herself and Mrs. Wright omelets. Conrad says that he'll ask his grandmother about this in the morning. Then he pulls Marine out of her chair and, if she's lying, threatens to beat her. Excuse me? How would that even approach being appropriate behavior for an employer? Dump him before you even date him, Marine.

Oh, then we have the discussion about Grandma's sleeping arrangements. Conrad is infuriated that Marine let Grandma sleep in a room that had been fumigated. Marine argues that they didn't fumigate it; they sprayed it themselves and it's safe for her to be in. Conrad questions why she didn't tell him this before and she says she didn't get the chance to. Except she totally did. She paused just after he said something about fumigating that room. Also, Christmas is a huge worry to these people. I hope it's worth all of the stress. Well, whatever, they'll talk about this more after breakfast.

The next day, Marine wakes up at 5:30. And stays awake. Wow. Then Marine pulls her long legs out of bed to look at the day. Last chapter, she was petite and 5 foot 5 inches. Now she's got long legs? Marine sees the ocean and decides she's got time for a quick dip. She changes into her red bikini, double checks that Grandma is still asleep, and runs out to the beach. Marine ponders the previous day while she floats in the ocean. She and Mrs. Wright cleaned Mrs. Wright's room yesterday. Mrs. Wright had enjoyed it. Also, apparently servants are really hard to find nowadays so you have to cater to them in order to keep them instead of the other way around. Also, Mrs. Wright has a bad heart, so it's important that someone be there all the time. Therefore, they need at least two workers so that if one is out shopping, the other can be there for her. In theory, anyway. Marine makes noises about having her aunt find some new folks and Mrs. Wright freaks out. If Annie and Flora think they're being replaced, they might just leave.

Marine floats back to shore and settles herself to dry in the sun on her towel. Also, yesterday Marine and Mrs. Wright found one of Conrad's books in Mrs. Wright's room. She'd borrowed it forever ago, and Marine went to put it in his room. His room is spotless. Marine thinks that he's assuming his grandma gets the same care. Yeah, but what about the rest of the house? The ridiculously dusty and dirty house?

A shadow blocks Marine's face. Is it a sea monster? A deadly spider? Oh. Hello, Conrad. He smiles at her, and Marine stops feeling like she's doing something wrong. So, the sight of him makes her think he's going to tell at her. Yup, true love. Conrad is impressed that she beat him to the beach. He's oggled her at least twice, so now Marine takes a turn while he's in his board shorts. By the way, their swimsuits are the same color of red. They must be meant for each other! “He was by far the most exciting male specimen she had ever seen, or was ever likely to see!” Wow. Really? Something about that sentence just bothers me. Maybe it's the exclamation mark.

Conrad offers her a chance to ride his surf board and she declines. He laughs and says it's too large for her anyway. Then he oggles her. He's just gotta keep doing that, doesn't he? Oh, but it's totally fine. “[Marine] knew the difference between being leered at and being openly admired and Conrad was openly admiring her, making her feel glad and proud that she was a woman.” Isn't it a conflict of interest to screw your boss? Or your grandmother's caretaker?

Oh, hey! Look at those waves! They're large, which is caused by the King Tides that come to Australia around Christmas. (It totally is Australia. Good.) Anyway, these waves are huge and Marine is worried about Conrad riding one, but he's a wild bad boy. Of course he's going to! ...and it's the most perfect-est show of athleticism Marine's ever seen. He's so dreamy. Or something. Marie runs into the surf to hand him a towel, and he dries his face and hair a little. Then they start walking back toward the house. He's only going to ride one wave? Huh.

Anyway, they start talking about surfing, and they're both enjoying talking to each other and whatnot. Conrad taught himself how to surf, you know. Marine tells him how she bragged to a boyfriend that she could surf when she was fourteen, and almost drowned trying to show him. Now she can surf decently in calm waters, but not in crazy ones like Conrad. Then he gets all pissy and makes a comment about how “a girl like her” would have plenty of boyfriends. Marine asks what he means and it goes downhill from there. You see, he wants to bang her, but he doesn't want to have to fight anyone else for it, so the idea of her dating other people makes him mad. Not that Marine picks up on this.

Conrad tells her that she's outgoing, and got a beautiful face and figure, so she's probably dated lots of guys. He makes it sound like an insult. Marine argues that, yes, she has had her fair share of boyfriends. Then they stare at each other, holding their breath. Finally, Conrad tells Marine she should be getting Grandma ready for breakfast. She defiantly replies that she should be. Then she goes upstairs, showers, and dresses entirely in pink. Why, Marine? Why not wear more than one color? But it's okay, because the jeans are tight and the sleeveless top shows off her curves. Or something.

Marine goes to Mrs. Wright's room to find that Mrs. Wright is already down at breakfast. Annie helped her get to the bath and get dressed and such. Now she's changing Mrs. Wright's sheets, even though Marine and Mrs. Wright changed them yesterday. Oh, and they were gross yesterday! Also, Annie's got a vacuum cleaner and cleaning stuff in the room. Oh, side note of something I didn't think was important at the time. Apparently, Conrad doesn't spend a lot of time in his house. Because he works about 2 hours away, he'll stay in his town house or at the construction site most of the time. That's how Annie and Flora were able to get away with their lack of cleaning. Although, you'd think the dusty entryway would give them away.

Conrad is at the head of the table, wearing entirely beige clothing. Ew. Mrs. Wright is there as well, and Conrad is laughing at something she just said. Anyway, this breakfast is delicious and extensive. Once they've finished their meal, and are lingering over their coffees, Conrad begins asking his grandma about the kind of treatment she's been getting.

Mrs. Wright, not wanting to make a fuss, says that everything is fine. Oh, the omelet last night instead of the chicken that Flora and Annie made? That's because she wanted something lighter. Yeah. That. Well, now Conrad doesn't believe Marine that Mrs. Wright has been neglected and Flora and Annie are going to have it out for Marine now. Those bamboozlers! Also, Conrad is torn between desire for Marine and finding her an aggravating jerk. This must be a romance novel.

In the next chapter, I predict... Marine and Conrad will fight again. This time about tomatoes. Grandma will show Marine her knife collection. Marine will be awed that they're so well taken care of and Grandma will reply with something about how she cleans them every night. Just in case. Also, Conrad will be eaten by a sea monster while he's surfing.

A Matter of Marine-Chapter One: Terrible Maids

The book opens on the line, “You're saying my grandmother is a thief?” I thought that meant this was about someone who traced back families and ancestry and such. No, the grandmother in question is alive. You see Marine, our title character, is a teacher who is helping her aunt over the holidays by working in the aunt's shop. The man who uttered the opening line, Conrad Wright, is a business tycoon who apparently is not worried that his grandmother is forgetting things, getting scarily skinny, and generally looks lonely and sees no need to hire a companion for her. They use the word companion quite a bit. I'm waiting for the blue telephone booth to appear out of nowhere.

Marine had meant to get Conrad to hire someone from an agency to look after his grandmother. Conrad eventually decides a companion might be a good idea. Grandma does get in the way around Christmas and whatnot. Since Marine's had lunch with grandma twice and actually seems to care about her, Conrad offers her the job. She turns him down. She's just got this temporary job until she goes back to teaching. Conrad eyes her a little too much and tells her that she looks more like a student than a teacher. She calls him on his use of flattery to get what he wants. He doesn't care. She accepts the position. So, of course, he has to ask if it was because of his flattery. No, of course not! She decided that she'd do it when he said that Grandma got in the way. ...which was several sentences ago and she could have taken the job earlier if that was her thought.

Anyway, Conrad doesn't like being called out on saying his grandma was in the way, so he asks Marine if abandoning her aunt is really okay. Marine elaborates that she's not really needed at the shop. Conrad asks if that means she's in the way like his grandma. Her response: “If it makes you happy to think so, then, yes, you're probably right.” Then they haggle about time commitment. She wants a Monday through Friday, 9-5 deal, but Conrad says that if he's getting a companion for his grandma, it'll be a 24/7 deal. Marine says she has an apartment and has no need to stay at his house, where Grandma lives. They talk about traffic and driving times and finally Conrad talks her into a compromise, which really isn't. She'll drive out to their house on Monday, stay the week, and decide about it then. Well, fine. She'll be there around 10. Conrad tells Marine he'll be looking forward to seeing her. She shoots back that she'll be looking forward to seeing his grandmother.

Conrad's an ass, and I really don't want her to fall for him, but this is a romance novel. During their exchange, her heart kept beating faster and she was blushing and such. They're gonna bang. And end up together. And I'm sure that something will come along to make him not seem like an asshole. Of course, that'll have to be a pretty impressive something. You'll see why in a bit.

By the way, I'm pretty sure this is set in Australia. The first scene takes place in downtown Sydney, there's a lot of talk about being on the coast, and Marine mentions the bush versus the coast when she's driving later. Wait. If this is happening in Australia, the potential for awesome just got much higher. Everything there is trying to kill people. (Yes, everything.) So, we could have Marine as a weapons expert taking out giant, poisonous spiders. Or maybe the grandma has throwing knives to cut poisonous snakes in half lengthwise as they open their mouths to bite. A girl can dream.

That night Marine is having dinner with her aunt, uncle, and two cousins, like they do every Friday night. It takes until dessert for the aunt to ask about the meeting with Conrad Wright. Marine tells her all about it. Uncle is distressed that Marine will be staying in Conrad's house when he has that kind of reputation with the ladies. A cousin breaks in that Marine is 23 and Conrad has to be at least 32 so they're not kids. Huh. Their ages are the reverse of each other. Also, why is the age difference often this large in romance novels? Not that people 9 years apart shouldn't date, it just seems to always be that way. Never, like, 2 years. Weird. Anyway, the family agrees that, whatever the circumstances, Mrs. Wright needs someone to look after her.

So, Marine spends the weekend getting her flat ready for her to not be in it, and makes the drive up the coast to the Wright estate. I hope she doesn't find the wrong one. (Don't worry. The puns come free of charge.) I just realized, he's Mr. Wright! Now I really hope they don't end up together, just to break the expectation. Then again, romance novels generally like to play inside the lines of genre. Anyway, Marine is wondering what type of house she'll find. Perhaps it'll be infested with deadly plants! But really, they exist in Australia too. Just as she thinks she's missed the house, Marine sees a sign for the Wright estate, and she turns onto the driveway.

Oh, hey. A gorgeous, giant seaside house with a gardener outside. How unexpected. Marine gets herself and her suitcase to the door and uses the giant knocker. A middle aged housekeeper named Flora answers and lets Marine inside. She mentions something about how she doesn't think Mrs. Wright needs a companion, but then again it's a lot to ask keeping this whole place clean and looking after grandma. Then Flora goes to find Annie so Annie can show Marine to her room. While Marine is waiting, she notices how incredibly dirty the house is. Wow. What awful maids. Yes, there are just two of them for this giant house, which is kinda dumb, but everywhere is dusty and dirty, and also covered in priceless antiques. Well, except Marine's room. There's pink everywhere, even pink velvet curtains, and it's all clean. Apparently, it took all weekend to clean it.

Annie tells Marine where Mrs. Wright's room is. Marine asks where Mrs. Wright, herself, is. Probably in her room. “Old Mrs. Wright never goes out of her room unless it's necessary.” The stairs are hard for her and Annie and Flora have so much cleaning to do they can't possibly be around to help her with them. Or something. Also, Flora had directed not to tell Mrs. Wright when Marine arrived because she knew Mrs. Wright would only get in the way. What a terrible place to live. It's certainly poisonous emotionally, if not necessarily with all sorts of critters. Also, Annie guesses that Mrs. Wright is probably napping because that's all she seems to do. It's not-quite 10:30 AM. Marine asks to be told when Mr. Wright gets back, no matter how late it is. Annie agrees and walks out of the room. Marine waits for Annie to leave the hallway, then goes and knocks on Mrs. Wright's door.

She was not napping, after all. However, her room was dark and stuffy. At first Mrs. Wright doesn't recognize Marine, but when Marine introduces herself, Mrs. Wright remembers her. She's so touched that someone actually cares about her. Poor thing. After getting permission, Marine opens the drapes and the windows to air out the room, which is filthy. Mrs. Wright is also still in her bathrobe with uncombed hair. I guess if Flora and Annie don't take care of the house, why would they feel compelled to take care of someone in it?

Marine asks if Conrad ever visits Mrs. Wright in her room. Mrs. Wright is shocked at the idea. Then Marine notices the burnt toast that Mrs. Wright has picked at for breakfast. I'm ready to lay another fault at Flora and/or Annie's door, but Mrs. Wright made her own breakfast. Look at the microwave and stuff Conrad put in her room so she wouldn't be a bother to anyone! Isn't it wonderful? Marine looks at the meager food supplies Mrs. Wright has, and sees a cockroach in her pantry. Marine slams the door shut. She tells Mrs. Wright she's very glad to be there and that she's going to be making changes.

So, you were wondering what else Conrad had done to make me dislike him when he wasn't even in that part of the chapter. He did nothing about Flora and Anna, for starters. I'm guessing it'll come out that him employing them will be some sort of very sweet act that allows something good to happen somewhere else, but he really needs to talk to them about actually doing the job they're paid to do. Also, he truly must not care about his grandma at all. Also, also, if there's one cockroach in Mrs. Wright's room, the whole mansion is probably infested. That'll be a hefty exterminator bill.

My guesses for the next chapter: Marine will angrily confront Conrad about living conditions for his grandma and the state of the house. Conrad will say something disarming that makes Marine blush, but not forget her anger, damn it. Then a sea monster will rise from the depths and beach itself just outside the Wright estate. Grandma will go charging down the beach, fight it, kill it, and cook it up for dinner.