A Matter of Marine-Chapter Eight: A Christmas Special, Part 1

I know they've been building up to Christmas this entire novel, but this bit still feels like a Christmas special from some TV show. This chapter ended on a cliff hanger, but when Christmas is done, I feel like I'll have learned a deep lesson about loving people. Or something.

Marine wanders through Conrad's house, looking at how pretty everything is. She offered to help Flora and Annie clean and the three of them did a great job, apparently. Now, if only Flora and Annie could be bothered to clean normally, it wouldn't take so much to make the house gleam on special occasions. Anyway, Marine is thinking of the tree which, last time she checked, hadn't been decorated yet. The door to the lounge is closed, so she opens it and discovers Conrad testing bulbs for Christmas lights. He looks “for all the world like a small boy who had been reunited with his toy box.” Of course, when he realizes he's not alone, all of this tension lines come back.

Marine invades his sanctuary and looks at the ornaments. He warns her not to break them and she does not. I mean, kinda rude that he felt the need to tell her that, but she doesn't seem to mind too much so, whateves. Anyway, after she handles a few ornaments, Conrad puts her to work untangling the tinsel while he finishes testing light bulbs. They put the lights and ornaments on the tree, humming and singing along to the Christmas carols playing on the stereo. The tree looks oh so pretty now, but wait! There's no topper on the tree! Conrad smiles at Marine and begins unwrapping another bundle, almost reverently.

It's a star, you see, made out of real gold, at least partially. The star has a deep symbolism for Conrad. His great-grandfather brought it with him from England to Australia and it was a symbol of his and his wife's love for each other and their hope for the future. Then Conrad says, in a super emotional voice, that he never understood what that meant until now. I'll just give you their dialogue here because I'm not sure I want to summarize it. It starts with Marine talking.

“'It's....It's beautiful.'

'And what it stands for?'

'Yes, yes, especially what it stands for!'

'Marine?'

'Y-yes?'

'Marine, I...'”

And then Helena the Hunter has to burst in and ruin the moment. What a bitch, going to find the man she's dating when he's trying to proposition someone else. Anyway, Helena the Hunter is mad that Conrad spent three hours working on the Christmas tree, instead being of at the party with her. People were talking about how he spends more time with Marine than with her. Maybe that's because you're a pain to be around, Helena the Hunter. So, while Helena the Hunter is mid-sentence, Conrad picks her up, flings her over his shoulder, and leaves the room. Woah, there buddy. Calm down.

Marine takes a moment to compose herself. Then she sees the star on the floor. She picks it up and hugs it to her, hoping that Conrad was trying to say that he loved her. After all, it must be hard for him to say. He probably hasn't even said it to Eva! Yes, because people who love you should want to control you. It's healthy. Anyway, her moment of reflection ends when Conrad returns. She can hear him coming and, for some reason, she thinks that reading his face at that moment will tell her if he loves her or not. After he's just had to put up with Helena the Hunter. So, of course, he looks mad. Well, I'll give you the direct quote: “...his face telling her that he was fed up with women!” Marine turns her face away so he won't see her tears. Oi vey. And the struggle continues.

Marine asks about Helena the Hunter, and Conrad explains that she was drunk, but that he should have been at the party keeping an eye on her. He doesn't sound happy at all as he's talking, by the way. Marine asks if he's going to the party now, and he says no; it'll be ending soon. Marine reflects on how Helena the Hunter ruined their magic moment. Then Conrad puts the star on the tree, and we get a bit more about its symbolism as they pick up the room. Now, of course, they're not as carefree and happy as they were before.

Then we return to Planet Conrad when Marine remembers that Eva wants to go to the midnight Christmas Eve service at her church. Conrad is tired and Marine offers to drive Eva to church. Conrad tells her that there are plenty of drunks on the road and that he has no intention of giving her back her keys. Good that you're worried, awful that you're such a controlling jerk. I'm also wondering if Christmas Eve is really that ridiculous in Australia. I don't live there, so I have no idea. Anyway, Marine tells Conrad that if they hadn't run into each other, she and Eva would have taken a taxi and not told him they were leaving. That's inconsiderate. Especially since he threw such a hissy fit about it last time. Marine reflects how she wouldn't want to have to find Conrad in the party and ask for her keys. It'd be so embarrassing. Maybe he shouldn't have taken them in the first place. Sorry, I keep getting sidetracked from their conversation with all of the thinking. I'll try to do better.

So, Conrad says that he wanted Marine at the party with him, and Marine admits that she knows that but... She doesn't say it's awful to see him and Helena the Hunter together, but she's definitely thinking it. Anyway, Conrad will totally drive her. Then he mentions that he would have been worried if he'd come home to find her missing. Marine admits that she didn't think he would notice. Honey, even if he didn't notice you missing, he would notice his grandmother's absence. He admits that he would know if Marine weren't in the house. Marine asks how and he replies with, essentially: “Because I would, okay? God!” I mean, that's the gist of it. Then he pets Marine's cheek and tells her that she'd better get Eva ready so they can make it in time. We also get this line, “...his eyes still resting on the delicate beauty of her perfect features.” Either we changed point of view here, or Marine is incredibly vain. Or both, I suppose.

Eva is ready to go when Marine gets to her room. Marine reflects on how Eva's new found self-confidence makes her look years younger. They chat a little, and Marine tells Eva that there's a surprise for her downstairs. Eva is incredulous that the tree would have been decorated, but Marine isn't giving anything away. Eva also wishes that Conrad would go to church with her, but she hasn't been able to convince him before. They gather up their Christmas presents and head downstairs. Conrad meets them at the foot of the stairs, takes Marine's presents from her, and accompanies them to the lounge. The lights are off except for the tree and it's beautiful. Eva sees the star on the tree and starts crying. I get the feeling that star hasn't come out in years. Oh, the Christmas special part? Marine feels like Conrad and Eva are having memories of Christmases past, but she doesn't feel excluded. Because she touched the star, she feels like she's part of the chain of Christmases that happened with it. This book just hasn't been serious enough up until this point to pull off this kind of thing.

Anyway, Conrad sees an oddly shaped present from Marine for him. He tries to figure out what it is and Marine scolds him like the school teacher that she is, which I had forgotten. Shouldn't she be figuring out lesson plans at some point? If school is starting up again, she's going to need those. Unless she already made them and didn't mention anything about them. Whatever, she teases Conrad and he teases her back. It's a good time.

They get to the church just before the carols start and Marine reflects on how her soprano, Eva's alto, and Conrad's baritone are all so pretty. The carols take on a new meaning for Marine and she vows never to forget that night. When they come back, Eva is super tired, so Conrad carries her up the stairs. Halfway up, he sees that her eyes are closed and comments that she's asleep. Marine knows better, but uses this opportunity. She asks a few leading questions like, “She's beautiful, isn't she?” and “You love her, don't you?” Apparently, Conrad's childhood would have been hell without her. Huh. I knew his dad was a drunk, but I didn't know how much that impacted him. Anyway, Eva falls asleep right after this so that, after Conrad sets Eva down on her bed, he and Marine can have a private conversation.

They kiss, several times, and talk about how it's Christmas. Marine contemplates telling him that she loves him and what his response would be. They're holding each other so close and everything. She chickens out and Conrad breaks the silence, and physical contact, by saying that she looks tired and she should get to bed and letting her go. Marine acknowledges that she's tired and then remembers the turkey that she'll be cooking tomorrow. She's looking forward to it and hopes that Conrad will offer to help just so they can hang out more. I mean, he's got guests and a gold digger to entertain, so he really can't, but Marine isn't thinking about them right now. Oh, then Conrad tries to get out of her what his present is and she refuses to tell him. After all, then he wouldn't have anything to look forward to tomorrow. He looks her up and down and says, “Oh, yes, I would.” Oh baby.

Marine manages to fall asleep as soon as her head hits the pillow and she wakes up refreshed the next day. Conrad is walking toward her room with an awake and chipper looking Eva, and a hung-over and unkempt looking Helena the Hunter. Serves her right. Oh, also, apparently their guests are staying at their house. It makes sense. They've definitely got the room. However, Conrad and Marine might not want to be making out in the hallway if there's folks around who could catch them. Just a thought.

Anyway, they all troop down to the lounge and start opening presents. Eva gets the first, a leather bound poetry from Marine with a thoughtful inscription. Helena the Hunter goes next. She's opening the diamond pendant that Eva worried over. Without any interest, Helena the Hunter remarks that Eva got her the same thing last year and asks Conrad if he's worried about Eva's mind. Eva offers to return it and get Helena the Hunter a sweater or something, but the gold digger says not to worry, and pockets the necklace. Conrad catches her in the lie by actually looking at the pendant and noticing that it's unique. So, finally, Conrad is starting to realize that Helena the Hunter is a gold digging, backstabbing bitch. At least, that's what I'm assuming from the phrase, “...Helena wasn't all that he believed her to be.” Oh, Conrad had given the box back to Eva and she eventually puts it on a side table near her. It's a super awkward moment, but we can brush that away with some Christmas cheer!

Conrad actually got Marine a gift, which was unexpected. It's bubble bath. You know, from the beginning of the book when he put way too much bubble bath in the tub? I had to think for a moment to remember that, too. Oh, and Marine's gift to Conrad? A child's yellow surfboard with a card reading: “In memory of all those bruises...!” Helena the Hunter snaps at their gift choices and Conrad hands her a subtle burn that she doesn't seem to understand about jokes being for the pure of heart.

So, when they're done unwrapping gifts, they pick up all of the paper. Helena the Hunter goes upstairs to sleep and Eva to read. Conrad and Marine are alone so of course, Conrad pets her cheek. Anyway, they chat a little about how great the turkey will be, how, no of course no one would suspect anything from the bubble bath. Helena the Hunter would think it was a cheap gift, even though it's the expensive kind and Eva would think it practical. They talk about breakfast and Marine says that she'll get something from the kitchen. Conrad admonishes her to make sure she does, then kisses her. Neither of them want to leave, but they have to so the plot can move on. I mean, they're not going to declare their undying love for one another, so we've got to separate them.

Anyway, when Marine does leave Conrad smacks her ass, which is apparently okay with her. I'm still having a problem with him dating Helena the Hunter and behaving this way. Often, if a guy cheats with one girl, then he'll cheat on her if they get in a relationship. Just putting that out there. Anyway, Marine heads into the kitchen in a happy haze, only to discover that the turkey is gone.

Well, Helena the Hunter either did it, or told Flora and Annie to do it. Mystery solved. I'm sure they'll get there in the next chapter. Hopefully.

So, really, the only sign of abuse in this chapter was Conrad's continued refusal to give Marine back her car keys, which is not okay. He did get a bit physical with Helena the Hunter when she stumbled into his heart to heart with Marine. It would have been much nicer to help her stagger to her room, rather than sling her over his shoulder, but I'm not sure if that one counts. Of course, that could be just because I don't like Helena the Hunter.

My prediction for the next chapter: Marine's parents have been meeting with Eva in secret when everyone else thinks Eva is resting. She is going through her old books and trying to figure out what would be best to stop this menace they're fighting. The couple beg her to come with them and fight but Eva replies that she can't leave now. Her thick-headed grandson is about to make an important decision and she knows she'll be a big part of that. Also, they tried a spell and there's something or someone in this house that will be integral to their cause. The question is: who or what?