Prudence took the secret passageway to Sebastian's room. I mean, the author barely hinted at that so I wasn't sure that's what she would do. I thought she'd be stuck in that library forever! Prudence tells Sebastian that Mr. Poo-Face locked her in the library and Sebastian freaks out. A life without Pru? No! Then he realizes that he loves her. Really? Just now? All righty then...
Anyway, Sebastian gets up and gets his brother. Both guys tell their ladies to lock themselves in their bedrooms. Remember James' crew? I didn't, but they come up later and then I wondered why the brothers don't wake up the crew. For all they know, there's a bunch of smugglers wandering around Wolfinger Abbey. Nah. I'm sure the two of them will be able to handle it. Oh yeah, there's a huge storm going on. Wolfinger Abbey is not pleased at this intrusion!
James sneaks up behind one of them smugglers and holds a knife to his throat. The smuggler tells James there's three of them. Sebastian ties the guy up, gags him, and leaves him locked in the pantry. You're not going to knock him out? You're just going to assume the ropes will hold or that he can't make noise in the pantry? Fine. Whatever.
The brothers wander into the great hall. James sees Mr. Poo-Face himself, so he goes and wrassles him. James has a score to settle on Phoebe's account, after all. Sebastian figures that his brother will win eventually, and he lurks in the shadows instead.
Can we please have a book just about James? Please?
During a flash of lightning, Sebastian notices that the great hall has been ravaged. Yes, ravaged. There's a broken mirror and a portrait of the Devil Earl has been slashed. Shit just got real. Sebastian is pissed.
James has Mr. Poo-Face by the throat when someone from the doorway tells James to put him down. It's the smugglers' boss. Sebastian sees the guy is too far away for a good shot, so he continues lurking. Really? That must be a huge great hall. Maybe it's really great. I dunno.
Anyway, James calls the chief's bluff, saying that he'll kill Mr. Poo-Face unless the smuggler chief drops his pistol. The smuggler chief does not give a flying fig from outer space. Then he says something to Mr. Poo-Face that's too bad ass to belong in this book: “You have become tiresome. I would shoot you myself, but I can't spare a bullet.” Yes! Can we have a book about this guy instead?
Sebastian decides now would be a good time to step in. He enters the light and tells the chief to drop his gun. Oh yeah, the storm goes crazy, lightning strikes a tree, and the branches slide down a window. Can we stop insinuating that Sebastian controls the elements? He doesn't.
The chief fires and Sebastian does too. Sebastian gets hit in the chest. James races over to try to stop the bleeding, but Sebastian was shot through the heart. As he bleeds out, he says one word: Prudence.
OK, so both men fire, but neither shot hits. Sorry, guys. The chief runs away and he goes under the eastern arch. The brothers stand at the bottom and watch the chief go up the steps. James asks if they should tell him. Nah.
The smuggler chief opens a door and races through it, only to fall onto the rocks below with a wet splat. You see, the Devil Earl built a door that goes to nowhere because he's a jerk.
Later, Prudence and Phoebe are at breakfast. The men have just returned from the magistrate. Wouldn't you know it? Prudence was right again. The smugglers who were there somehow escaped. So, Sebastian and James decided to bring smuggler #1 and Mr. Poo-Face back to Wolfinger to await the exercisemen. Yeah, I don't know either.
Oh yeah, while that conversation is happening, they get sidetracked. I mean, Phoebe and James have to stare into each other's eyes for a bit. Prudence and Sebastian have a bit of dialogue instead. Sebastian's glad Prudence isn't as effusive as Phoebe. Prudence says she can be sometimes, if-ya-know-what-I-mean. Sebastian tells her that sometimes, he totally digs that. Then he gives “her a slow, wicked smile that promised untold delights.” I can tell you what those untold delights are. Sex.
Anyway, Phoebe asks if she and James can live in the cottage that she and Prudence used to call home. You know, Phoebe will live there with her husband and Prudence can live in Wolfinger with her....her...um. Yeah! Of course, you can come visit, Prudence. Also, their conversation ends with an innuendo. I didn't want you to miss out.
Anyway, late that night, Sebastian creeps into Prudence's room and wakes her up. Apparently she sleeps naked now. He hands her a robe and she slides it on and steps into her slippers. They're gonna do something before Sebastian boards up the passage. I'm pretty sure you know where this is going.
They sneak down there, past the sleeping Mr. Worth, and step into the cave. Remember that rock on which Sebastian wanted to have sex with Prudence? Yeah. That happens. Anyway, in the warmth of the afterglow, Prudence yells out, “I love you!”
Wait. What? You love him? I did not see this coming. He tells her that he's been in love with her for awhile. Oh yeah? Well, I've loved you longer! Nu-uh! Yuh-huh!
Anyway, they're about to go at it again when Sebastian asks if this means Prudence will marry him. What a classy way to propose.
Anyway, Sebastian carries Prudence back in the cave, several hours later apparently. That was the best sex of his life, blah blah blah. Oh look! This part of the wall is different colored! Prudence sticks Sebastian's knife in it (I'm not being figurative here) and discovers another part of the cavern.
Look, gold! The Devil Earl must have been a pirate! All right. I want a book about James, the smuggler chief, or the actual Devil Earl instead of this one. Please? Well, to be fair, there's only one more chapter and an epilogue left in this one.
Anyway, Sebastian is glad the gold has just been discovered now. He'll actually put it to good use now. So, they're starting to move the chest out when Wolfinger Abbey gets angry! Stuff starts falling down! “Sebastian, forget the gold!” Then Prudence falls forward and the world goes black.
See, because when you've tied up the plot, but you need more pages, just throw your characters into another predicament at the end of a chapter. I'm guessing this will be resolved fairly quickly. Oh, also, Mr. Worth didn't wake up when they were tearing the wall apart? I know they're in the cellars, but the noise might have been amplified... Fine. Whateves.
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