Chapter Seventeen: Holy Coincidence, Batman!

Prudence is all sad and stuff that Phoebe disappeared. Sebastian is not okay with this! Also, she sort of accepted his almost-proposal in front of Hugh, but she didn't say anything else about it. This makes Sebastian fret. Fretting is for little boys! ...or, ya know, someone who's just spoken their heart to someone and is waiting for a reaction. Possibly to take his mind off himself, Sebastian decides to comfort Prudence.

Damn it, woman! It's not your fault! Phoebe was kind of a bitch. You can't control her! Also, I know how you're feeling 'cause of all that crap that happened with James.

Prudence responds with something along the lines of: Oh yeah, you're totes right. Let's go take a bath now! I assume she gives him a sexy wink too, although the book doesn't explicitly say that.

Anyway, awhile later Prudence and Sebastian, that team of super-sleuths, is on the case! They find their way to Mr. Poo-Face's uncle's house. The uncle really doesn't like his nephew and lets it slip that Mr. Poo-Face is a smuggler. The uncle reluctantly tells the duo about the Bloody Mary, a seedy tavern down along the warf. Mr. Poo-Face hangs out there a lot. So off they go!

Prudence and Sebastian learn that Phoebe and “her guy” were at the Bloody Mary, there was a fight, then Phoebe and “her guy” left to go to the Chapel Inn, which is really ritzy, apparently. Oh, also, Sebastian sucks at diplomacy, but he's good at paying people to tell him what he needs to know. You know, just in case we forgot that he's arrogant and stuff. So, Sebastian has a ways to go before he can compete with a certain super-sleuth. Just sayin'

At the Chapel Inn:

Sebastian's title talks here. The owner doesn't seem to keep any weapons on him. Lame. Anyway, he tells them that Mr. Poo-Face isn't there, and there's another couple there. He even tells them the room. Then, for some reason, the owner is surprised when they go charging off to the room and Sebastian breaks down the door. Not that the owner's there for the door-breaking.

Once Sebastian breaks down the door, Prudence hears a familiar scream. Oh, hey Phoebe. What's going on, girl? Oh, we caught you in bed with some guy? Sorry about that. Wait. That guy...

James! Sebastian! Phoebe! Prudence! Repeat ad nauseum What were you two doing in bed? We were doing that obvious thing, but we're totes married! What are you two doing? (The book has no answer to this question.)

They tell the owner that it's all cool, and Sebastian will pay for the door. Then they settle in the parlor for story time.

By the way, everyone is changed and different and awesome now. Hooray for dynamic characters! All right, now it's story time. James ran out of the house after the argument. He slipped on the rocks and fell into the sea. The smugglers found him and thought about killing him, but they thought it'd be a bad idea to kill the Devil Earl's brother. So they sold him into slavery instead. He worked really hard, like really hard you guys, on a ship of pirates! He doesn't give any detail about this. So, yeah, when they made it to the West Indies, the new guy who had been sold to them managed to start a mutiny and maroon the captain and the pirates who were just not nice. Then they came back to England. He's done sailing, but maybe it's time for a shipping venture. What do you think, Sebastian?

Sebastian ponders this for a moment. He says something like: Well, you seem to have done well for yourself and actually become mature. Yeah, we're cool. We've gotta deal with those kidnappers, though.

James has been hunting info on them, but they're kinda mean and would not deal well with snitches. It's entirely possible that people who narked on the smugglers would need to receive some sort of thread to hold their wound together. Anyway, the brothers are all about dealing with these law breakers. Phoebe objects, so they all look to Prudence. Really? All right then. Of course she's cool with it. It's adventure, also she straight up tells them it'll be good for her next story. How selfish. Then the chapter ends.

Am I the only one wondering how James managed to incite a mutiny? In fact, can we get a book about him instead? His story sounds much more bad ass than “Oh, does she like me? We have sex lots and she gave me her v-card, but I'm just not sure!”

By the way, I'm really excited for this upcoming fight.